How to Trust Your Heart

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Have heart clarity, and then you go tell your

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friends, hey, I'm trying to figure this out. What do you

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think you're most likely going to have people convince you to

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go against your heart? Sometimes it illuminates what your truth

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is like. If someone says, No, you shouldn't go to Kenya, it's

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going to and you really want to, you're going to have a stronger

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feeling. That's a possibility. But also, if other people are

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feeding your fear, your fear is only going to get louder, which

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is why you don't want to outsource those conversations.

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If you're starting to have a feeling like, Hmm, maybe my

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relationship is out of alignment. I'm like, something's

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quite something's feeling off. I'm feeling this, like, desire

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for a new beginning. I'm feeling this desire for letting go, make

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space for that, write about it like sit in meditation and

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actually just connect to your heart and don't have external

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conversations about it.

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Hello, my loves. Kate Harlow, here, how are you doing? How is

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your heart today, I'm so happy to be here tuning in to talk all

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about how to trust your heart, how to live from the frequency

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of your heart, because it is the only place to live from. Let me

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tell you I am sitting here in my adorable frickin cottage. I

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moved out of my apartment in Athens. Those of you who are new

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to the new truth, you're going to get the gist of my my life

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now, I left Athens, and it doesn't mean I'm not going back.

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I have the immersion in April. We still have a couple spots

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left if you're wanting to come to the immersion. The immersion

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is coming up in April in Corfu, Greece. So I will be back in

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Greece in the spring. But I for them for now, I have moved

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myself to Kenya and followed my heart, and I have the sweetest

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little cottage tucked in the jungle. It is. It actually feels

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a lot like Costa Rica in the area of Nairobi, where my

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cottage is. And I'm going to be spending half my time here and

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half my time at olapangi Farm, which I've talked a lot about,

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if you go back on the podcast, I spent four and a half months

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there last year. If you're new to me and I fell in love with

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Kenya. Now, Africa wasn't on my radar. I'd never planned to come

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here. I had no like, strong desire to come here, other than

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maybe one day. It was kind of in my, you know, the back of my

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mind one day. But there were so many other places I probably

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would have visited first, and yet the universe divinely

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orchestrated my path to send me to Kenya in February 2024, in

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fact, I was supposed to come May 2023 but the Greek government

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stopped me, or the Greek airport police stopped me and said,

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Don't leave Greece. Your your visa is not finalized, and there

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are some complications. So the first time I was supposed to

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come here, I didn't come. But I could feel the frequency of it

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in my heart and in my body. The whole time the retreat that I

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was supposed to be on was happening. The whole time that

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my friends were here, I could feel the frequency of this place

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and how special it is to me. And fast forward to February 2024

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when my dear friend Marianna and I led our first Kenya

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collaborative retreat together. We did two in 2024 at Ola Pankey

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farm. And I remember standing outside the farm listening to 10

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million birds. I just meditated for like 45 minutes to the sound

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of 10 million birds. And stood out and looked at the ridge, and

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I saw a giraffe crossing, and I was like crying, and I just, I

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just said, I think I want to live here. And at the time, it

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made no sense to me this statement. I thought I was just

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being excited, you know, that moved by the moment, but I felt

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this frequency in my heart and my body being in Kenya. And sure

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enough, the next time I came, as soon as I stepped off the

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airplane, I could smell something in the air. My heart

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expanded 10 times. Went back to Ola pangi farm, fell even deeper

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in love with everyone that works there, with Elizabeth and her

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team, and all of the friends that I had made. And you know,

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my heart was so clear. And this episode is all about learning to

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trust your heart, because the reason so many women are in

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suffering, the reason so many women are in pain and in discord

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within themselves and in their lives, is because they are

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ignoring their hearts. And if you ignore your heart, you will

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never find your joy. You will never live from your aliveness

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or your turn on, or your expansiveness or your creative

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expression, the heart is the magic of you, the magic of your

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soul, of the life that you're meant to live. When you learn to

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live from the frequency of your heart, and you learn to make

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decisions from your heart, your whole entire life will change.

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And it takes a lot of fucking courage, I'm going to say, to

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follow your heart. So I

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moved, you know, I had this. I kept coming back to Kenya. Every

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time I came was for a little bit longer. And this is all last

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year, 2024 and then a beginning of 2025 first. Time I came was

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two weeks. Second time I came was five weeks. Third time I

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came was nine weeks. And the end of the third time I was like,

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Okay, I'm I need to live here. I need to move here. Oh, it just

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started raining. It's rain season in Nairobi. It's amazing.

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It's like tropical rainstorms. So hopefully the Wi Fi keeps

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going. So I just it sounds so beautiful that I have a tin

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roof. I don't think you can hear it, but it's, it's a really

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lovely feeling and sound. So every time I came, I came for a

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little bit longer, right? A little bit longer. Now, every

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time and I would go back home, and I'd feel this like achy

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feeling, every time anyone talked about Kenya, every time

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anyone talked about Africa, anytime I want, I actually went

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down a Jane Goodall rabbit hole and watched, like, all her

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documentaries and all these interviews with her. And she

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just recently passed away this last week, and and I was just,

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like, really connecting with like that, this woman. I mean,

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she was like, in her 20s, and she came to Africa before

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television, so there wasn't like she didn't even know what she

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was walking into. And she lived in the bush and studied

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chimpanzees with a very small team of people. And like,

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really, on her own, lived in the bush of Africa for months on end

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to study these wild animals that are so similar to human beings.

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She followed the call of her heart, and she built an entire

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life purpose out of it. And there is a purpose episode

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coming soon that is so connected to the frequency of your heart,

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if you do not learn how to live from your heart, you are not

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going to be happy or satiated or satisfied in your life. And if

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you feel a sense of like longing or emptiness or an ache for

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something else, the ache is inside of you, and all of the

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answers of what is aligned for you is inside of you. So I had

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this, this call to come to Africa again, like I didn't go

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seeking it. My best friend Mariana, called me and said,

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We're going to Kenya. I found a cool place where we can do

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retreats there. And as soon as she said the word Kenya, like I

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knew nothing about Kenya, and my heart just expanded every time I

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come here. My heart grows, my my my senses deepen. It is, it's

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really a profound experience. So I flew in. I actually ditched my

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parents, they're still in Greece. I've been here for over

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a week, and my parents are still in Greece on our annual holiday,

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and they're coming to Kenya in January. But I flew here, came

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to my cottage, dropped my bags, had about two hours here, and

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then went up to Ola pangi farm, and that is where the owner,

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Elizabeth and her beloved Kir, were getting married. And I, if

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you go back to an episode in April 2024 I have her on the

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podcast, and she shares her love story. So they, since got

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engaged, they they had the most extraordinary wedding, which I'm

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going to tell you all about, and and it was such a beautiful

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experience. Because to you know, I'm not a huge fan of weddings,

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I find them very scripted, very predictable, very fake, very

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like perfectionist. And this wedding was the opposite. It was

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like what Africa is to me. It was wild and it was free and it

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was different. It was unique. There was no tail death do us

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part. There was no like. Now we're doing this thing now.

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We're doing the speeches, the wedding itself. The ceremony

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itself was a dear friend who I'm actually having on the podcast

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soon. I'll, I'll share her name in the future, but a dear friend

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of Elizabeth and Kier married them, and all she did was share

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their love story. And it was hilarious, and it was, it was

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emotional. I was crying, I was laughing. It was such a

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beautiful journey. And that was the ceremony. Was her sharing

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the love story. And then Mr. Karaoke, this legend who lives

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on the property here, and he's in his 80s, and he's just like

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one of the most coolest medicine man you'll ever meet. And he did

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a little tribute to Elizabeth and everything she's done for

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the community and the land. And then he did a tribute to Kira,

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her partner, and it was the most beautiful, moving experience.

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And then it was just a party, and there was this epic Kenyan

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band, and we were all dancing and having bonfires and eating,

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and it was so celebratory, and it was so different. And it was

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all about expression and people wearing sequins or, like, wild

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feathers, or whatever. It was so authentic. It was so like, just

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an expression of community and collaboration. And, you know,

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I'm at the wedding, and every freaking conversation I have is

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with people who are living extraordinary lives, who are

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doing things totally different than the script, who are living

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in crazy places in the world, up to really amazing things, making

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a massive impact, loving what they do, loving their life,

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having greater love than they ever could have imagined. And

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everybody is about collaboration here. So I have, like, all these

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business partners now, all these ideas, all these creative

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ventures that are, you know, going to be little side projects

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of people with. People I've met, there is so much happening here.

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It's like fertile and it's not so separate. It's not so me

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against you and us against it's like because everyone is living

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in the frequency of the heart. So that's what I realized being

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here, is that that's why my heart called me here, because

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people who are Kenyan are like absolutely in the frequency of

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their heart, the heart. That's why I'm so in love with Kenyan

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people. And then people who are drawn to Kenya are also in the

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frequency of the heart. That's why they're drawn here. And

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they're living their lives in an unscripted way. They're

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following the pulse of the heart. So here are the three

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keys to trusting your heart and living from your heart. And the

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first thing to know is you've been taught to not trust your

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heart. You've been taught that you don't have the answers. How

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many times have you been in a situation like, let's say, you

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want to leave a relationship or a job, or you're dating someone

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new, and you tell your friend, okay, not all saboteur

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archetypes do this. The isolators might hold it in the

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controllers might try and just control the situation themselves

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and not ask for advice, but I think most women outsource their

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decisions right often, especially if it's in an arena

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like let's say you're really good at making decisions in

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business, but you don't trust yourself in love. So every time

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you date someone, or every time you go to break up with someone,

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or go to leave your job, you ask your friends, what do you think?

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That's one of the ways, one of the biggest ways we give our

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power away when we are following our heart. And here's the thing,

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a lot of people in your life aren't going to understand the

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path of your heart. So I think about my situation, can you

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imagine I went around and just asked everyone, like, Hey, I'm

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thinking of moving to Kenya. What do you think? Probably a

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lot of people would be like, Are you fucking crazy? What are you

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doing that is weird. How are you doing that? Why are you doing

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that? What are you doing that? What's your intention?

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But I have built a relationship with my heart over time, so the

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number one key, the first most important step to trusting your

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heart and being able to follow it so you can live from the

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frequency of your heart, which is where your most deepest,

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juiciest, richest life is. The most important thing is that you

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got to start building a relationship with your heart,

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and this looks like your own relationship with your heart. As

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women, we've been taught to bond, through gossip, through

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outsourcing, through asking each other opinions. What do you

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think? What do you think? What do you think? But if you have a

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feeling in your heart that you desire something, hold it for

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yourself. Don't share it with everyone. Hold it for yourself.

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And sit with it. Sit within a meditation. Write about it. Get

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to know it, start to pay attention to it. So, for

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example, every time anyone I talked about Kenya with anyone

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or anyone mentioned Kenya to me as I was talking about it, I

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would get tingles in my Yoni, tingles in my heart, tingles all

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over my body, and it would be like as if I had a crush on this

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country, like my whole body would come alive every and still

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does, every single time someone talked about it. And I was like,

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Oh, my God, what is that? And, you know, life re orchestrated.

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I was supposed to be coming here in December for the artist in

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residence program again, and I was going to stay for like, four

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months. And then I got invited to this wedding, Elizabeth and

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Kira, the owners of Ola panguese wedding. And so immediately, my

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heart was a Yes, and I had a conflict. My mom and dad had

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already booked their trip to Greece to come see me one month

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in Greece, and I looked at the schedule, and basically I was

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going to be spending three of those weeks in Kenya, like if I

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went to this wedding, I'd be missing out on this experience

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with my parents. So I called them. We talked about it. They

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decided they would come for five weeks instead of four. So we had

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two weeks together. On the front end, they understood that I had

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to come to this wedding, and also that didn't make sense for

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me to come to the wedding, go all the way back to Greece and

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then come all the way back here. So we made an agreement, and

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they decided to have friends come stay in Crete with them,

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and then they're having some alone time now. And then they're

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gonna be hanging out in Athens with my friends. So we just had

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a conversation about it worked it out so that they would still

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feel like they got to have time with me on their trip, but they

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also got to have other experiences. And then I listened

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to the call, right? I was supposed to go to Kenya in

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November, end of November, and this wedding invitation came,

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and I felt so excited at the idea of being here sooner, which

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is like that was the indicator, right? So you have to build a

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relationship with your heart, because mostly people have been

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telling you to go against her. And you know, I think of my

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heart as as her, like she's she's almost separate from me.

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It's like I've got to protect her, I've got to honor her. I

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got to make space for her. I got to let her feel I've got to

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acknowledge her, celebrate her, like your heart is this precious

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gem, right, that lives in the cavern of your you. Your heart

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space, and you got to protect this precious gem, but not in a

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guarded way, right? That's what your saboteur has been guarding

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your heart for a long time, thinking she needs you to shut

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down, to hold back your feelings, to repress your truth,

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to follow that guy instead of yourself, like your saboteur has

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been guarding your heart for a long time. Your heart does not

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need guarding, but she needs someone to build a relationship.

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This is your heroine, to build a relationship with her, to listen

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to her, to make space for her, to actually start to make

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choices from this feeling, from this frequency. So as you go

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through your life, you're going to have moments and invitations

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and opportunities that come your way. And as you start to build a

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relationship with your heart, she's going to give you

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indicators of things like the things that are are actually a

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yes for you. And I've certainly talked about this many times

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before, when you listen to your heart, or when your heart speaks

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to your saboteur is always going to be right behind her with a

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whole bunch of reasons why you shouldn't follow her, and your

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saboteur is going to try and scare the shit out of you so you

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listen to her guarding instead of your heart. Yes. So, for

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example, every time I've come to Kenya, but especially this time,

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when I was giving up my apartment in Athens that no

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longer felt aligned. My saboteur kept coming back again and

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again, knocking on the door, being like, what are you doing?

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Are you serious? You're moving to Kenya and you're getting rid

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of this great apartment. What are you doing? Your life in

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Greece is so good. You have all these friends like, as if I can

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never go back there, as if I'm never going to be friends with

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these people anymore, right? She kept knocking on my door every

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few days, and I would sit with her, and I would spend time

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listening to her, and I would be like, Yeah, I understand that

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you feel afraid, and I know that I can trust my heart. I know it

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doesn't need to make sense to anybody else. So you see if I

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was like, if I don't make this space to actually hear her and

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give her an option to make a choice, and if I only let the

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fear make the choice, chances are I'm living with anxiety. If

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you're not living from the frequency of your heart, if

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you're not trusting your own heart, you probably feel

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anxious. And what the anxiety is is you going against your heart,

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and then it creates this discord inside all the time. And you

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think the discord is all these other things, but it's actually

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just you not listening to your heart, so building a

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relationship with her, making space to actually hear her. And

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the second most important thing is that you do not ask for

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advice around the choice of your heart. So let's say you're in a

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relationship and it's feeling complete, you know, like I think

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of my last relationship, I just left. I love him deeply. We're

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still connected, and yet I knew in my heart that I was moving on

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to a next chapter in the relationship no longer fit. I

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didn't know why I didn't. It didn't quite make sense, because

Kate Harlow: 00:18:02

we were both, at the time in Athens, you know, and I was

Kate Harlow: 00:18:04

like, Well, I'm moving to Kenya. But am I really moving to Kenya?

Kate Harlow: 00:18:07

You know, to my logical, fear based, conditioned mind, did any

Kate Harlow: 00:18:11

of it make sense? No, right? But my heart knew I've outgrown this

Kate Harlow: 00:18:16

container, this container of Athens, this container of this

Kate Harlow: 00:18:19

apartment, this container of this relationship, my heart knew

Kate Harlow: 00:18:22

it was no longer aligned, but there's no script with your

Kate Harlow: 00:18:27

heart. There's no manual, there's no word. It doesn't make

Kate Harlow: 00:18:30

logical sense. So if you have heart clarity, and then you go

Kate Harlow: 00:18:35

tell your friends, hey, I'm trying to figure this out. What

Kate Harlow: 00:18:38

do you think you're most likely going to have people convince

Kate Harlow: 00:18:42

you to go against your heart. Sometimes it illuminates what

Kate Harlow: 00:18:45

your truth is like. If someone says, No, you shouldn't go to

Kate Harlow: 00:18:47

Kenya, it's gonna and you really want to, you're going to have a

Kate Harlow: 00:18:51

stronger feeling. That's a possibility, but also your if

Kate Harlow: 00:18:56

you if, if other people are feeding your fear, your fears

Kate Harlow: 00:19:00

only going to get louder, which is why you don't want to

Kate Harlow: 00:19:02

outsource those conversations. If you're starting to have a

Kate Harlow: 00:19:05

feeling like, Hmm, maybe my relationship is out of

Kate Harlow: 00:19:08

alignment. I'm like, something's quite something's feeling off

Kate Harlow: 00:19:11

and feeling this, like, desire for a new beginning. I'm feeling

Kate Harlow: 00:19:15

this desire for letting go, make space for that, write about it,

Kate Harlow: 00:19:20

let like, sit in meditation and actually just connect to your

Kate Harlow: 00:19:23

heart and don't have external conversations about it, right?

Kate Harlow: 00:19:28

And don't spend all your time in your head. Should I Stay or

Kate Harlow: 00:19:30

Should I Go trying to think about the decision? But actually

Kate Harlow: 00:19:33

just make space for the desire of your heart, because the

Kate Harlow: 00:19:36

desire is what's inside of your heart and your body, and you

Kate Harlow: 00:19:40

have to build a relationship with it first, and you have to

Kate Harlow: 00:19:43

practice, like, really letting your life be sacred. I think as

Kate Harlow: 00:19:48

women, we're often just like, in the story of like, Oh, what are

Kate Harlow: 00:19:50

you doing? What's happening now? What's the drama? What's the

Kate Harlow: 00:19:52

whatever? And we talk everything out with our friends, and forget

Kate Harlow: 00:19:56

that we can actually hold things, and I don't mean in a.

Kate Harlow: 00:19:59

Isolation way, if you're an isolator, this is this is

Kate Harlow: 00:20:02

different. This is just like hiding your feelings and hiding

Kate Harlow: 00:20:05

what's going on inside of you. But I'm talking about like with

Kate Harlow: 00:20:09

intention. You can hold desires that you're experiencing and not

Kate Harlow: 00:20:14

have to tell 10 of your friends, right? And not have to ask

Kate Harlow: 00:20:17

anyone else permission, but just explore this feeling. So I

Kate Harlow: 00:20:21

explored the feeling of Kenya. I had that feeling the first time

Kate Harlow: 00:20:25

I came like, I think I want to live here. It didn't make

Kate Harlow: 00:20:27

logical sense. It just was a feeling felt like home. And then

Kate Harlow: 00:20:31

every time I've come back since then, it felt more like home and

Kate Harlow: 00:20:35

more like home and more like home. So I've I've dabbled, and

Kate Harlow: 00:20:40

even me coming now, I have a cottage. My cottage contract is

Kate Harlow: 00:20:43

for six months, and then I'll see. I'm not attached. I'm not

Kate Harlow: 00:20:47

like, oh, I have to stay here forever, if it doesn't feel

Kate Harlow: 00:20:50

good. But I'm sitting here having this conversation with

Kate Harlow: 00:20:53

you about trusting the heart from the other side of the fear,

Kate Harlow: 00:20:57

right? I'm actually in Kenya now. I'm in my cottage. I do not

Kate Harlow: 00:21:01

miss my apartment for one second. This cottage is I

Kate Harlow: 00:21:04

haven't lived in a house since I was in high school or in like,

Kate Harlow: 00:21:07

you know, since I was my early 20s, with my family, like I've

Kate Harlow: 00:21:11

lived in apartment buildings for the last 20 years. And to be in

Kate Harlow: 00:21:16

a little cottage that's a home. It has an upstairs and a

Kate Harlow: 00:21:19

downstairs and a yard, and like so much, nature around and it's

Kate Harlow: 00:21:24

in community. I had, there's like eight other houses on the

Kate Harlow: 00:21:26

property, and I'm starting to get to know people on the

Kate Harlow: 00:21:28

property, and basically living in community, which is what I've

Kate Harlow: 00:21:32

desired for so long. And I'm sitting and I'm meeting the most

Kate Harlow: 00:21:35

extraordinary people. I went for dinner. I arrived to Nairobi on

Kate Harlow: 00:21:40

Monday after or no, wait, that's not true. Tuesday after the

Kate Harlow: 00:21:43

wedding. It is now Friday, and I just arrived here.

Kate Harlow: 00:21:49

Wait, it's not Friday, it's Sunday. I arrived on Tuesday, on

Kate Harlow: 00:21:53

Friday or Saturday night. I got invited to go to a dinner party.

Kate Harlow: 00:21:56

My first dinner party across town took me an hour in traffic

Kate Harlow: 00:21:59

to get there half an hour to get home. But a friend of mine that

Kate Harlow: 00:22:03

I met at the farm a couple of times, she and her husband were

Kate Harlow: 00:22:05

at the wedding. They have extraordinary lives. They have

Kate Harlow: 00:22:08

the most unscripted, like coolest businesses. They're

Kate Harlow: 00:22:11

super creative. They've done so well in following their hearts

Kate Harlow: 00:22:16

and pursuing their creative dreams. And they keep growing,

Kate Harlow: 00:22:19

and their creative dreams keep expanding, and they're so

Kate Harlow: 00:22:22

interesting. And I went to dinner at their place last

Kate Harlow: 00:22:26

night. And of course, I arrive, and they invited a couple to

Kate Harlow: 00:22:29

dinner who they didn't even know it was friends of their friends.

Kate Harlow: 00:22:33

And this couple said to me, I went, I gave them a hug and

Kate Harlow: 00:22:36

said, I'm Kate, and where are you guys from? And and they

Kate Harlow: 00:22:40

said, Oh, we're from Lebanon. But she said, I've actually been

Kate Harlow: 00:22:42

living in Greece for the last two years. And I was like, what

Kate Harlow: 00:22:45

where? And she said, Oh, Athens. And I was like, what, where? And

Kate Harlow: 00:22:50

she said, Metz. And I was like, oh my god, that is literally the

Kate Harlow: 00:22:53

neighborhood next to the neighborhood I lived in. And so

Kate Harlow: 00:22:56

I said, Do you go to did you ever go to 4m the coffee shop?

Kate Harlow: 00:22:59

And she said, yeah, that that's my favorite coffee shop. He

Kate Harlow: 00:23:02

makes the best coffee in the city. And I'm like, that's where

Kate Harlow: 00:23:05

I go every day, or went every day when I lived in Athens and

Kate Harlow: 00:23:08

met all of my friends, like, what are the chances? I'm

Kate Harlow: 00:23:10

seriously, I'm in Nairobi. This woman's from Lebanon, and she

Kate Harlow: 00:23:14

lived in Athens for two and a half years, and the host of the

Kate Harlow: 00:23:17

dinner party didn't even know that or know her. So what a

Kate Harlow: 00:23:22

beautiful, magical like when we follow our hearts. I have made

Kate Harlow: 00:23:26

so many friends. I'm going to this new gym here. It totally

Kate Harlow: 00:23:29

feels like Costa Rica. Everything's open and jungly,

Kate Harlow: 00:23:32

and you can hear the birds while you're working out. This morning

Kate Harlow: 00:23:35

is Sunday. I went to a workout class and you could hear it.

Kate Harlow: 00:23:38

There's a church right next door to the gym, which I didn't know

Kate Harlow: 00:23:41

because you can't see it, but it was like the most beautiful

Kate Harlow: 00:23:44

gospel music all morning. I'm for sure, going to church next

Kate Harlow: 00:23:47

week. I don't go to church, but I'm going just for the music. It

Kate Harlow: 00:23:49

was so beautiful. And the whole entire workout class there was

Kate Harlow: 00:23:54

this, like, singing, this, like, unbelievable music that I could

Kate Harlow: 00:24:00

hear while I was working out. So I'm just like pinching myself,

Kate Harlow: 00:24:03

like, where am I? You know, and this is just a wild adventure,

Kate Harlow: 00:24:07

and I have no idea how long of my story I'm going to be here.

Kate Harlow: 00:24:11

Maybe it's going to be a long time. I've met so many people

Kate Harlow: 00:24:15

who moved to Kenya and have been here for 30 years, the owners of

Kate Harlow: 00:24:18

my house. She was born here, and her husband came from Scotland

Kate Harlow: 00:24:21

30 years ago and never left. It is a magical place. But this

Kate Harlow: 00:24:26

episode is not about Kenya. I mean, if you feel the call, come

Kate Harlow: 00:24:29

visit, for sure, there's been lots of heroines. There's a

Kate Harlow: 00:24:31

retreat in February. But it's, it's full heroines, but it, you

Kate Harlow: 00:24:36

know, if you feel the call, you come. But it's not about Kenya.

Kate Harlow: 00:24:39

It's about following your heart and getting to know yours. And

Kate Harlow: 00:24:42

you know, I remember on the early days when I was following

Kate Harlow: 00:24:44

my heart. I've for sure, shared this story before. I got invited

Kate Harlow: 00:24:48

to be in the musical Jesus Christ Superstar, many years

Kate Harlow: 00:24:50

ago. And immediately my first response was like, Oh my God,

Kate Harlow: 00:24:54

that would be amazing. I love that musical. And my heart just

Kate Harlow: 00:24:57

exploded. And then right after that, it. Like, Oh, actually,

Kate Harlow: 00:25:01

it's not possible. I'm too busy. There's no way. I don't even

Kate Harlow: 00:25:04

have energy now, and I'm working so much, I'm traveling with

Kate Harlow: 00:25:07

work. Like there's no way I can do it. And thankfully, there was

Kate Harlow: 00:25:11

somebody there with me who witnessed my excitement, and he

Kate Harlow: 00:25:13

was my boyfriend at the time, and he was like, you're doing

Kate Harlow: 00:25:16

that musical. Like, are you kidding me? I've never seen you

Kate Harlow: 00:25:18

so lit up in in the since I've known you, and that was the

Kate Harlow: 00:25:22

indicator that it was my heart, right? You see how fast the

Kate Harlow: 00:25:25

saboteur comes in and wants to trumpet the your saboteur will

Kate Harlow: 00:25:28

try and take that joy away, not because she hates you, not

Kate Harlow: 00:25:31

because she's she's trying to hurt you, but because she

Kate Harlow: 00:25:34

believes that you being in your most expanded, most expressed

Kate Harlow: 00:25:38

heart frequency self is dangerous, because once upon a

Kate Harlow: 00:25:41

time, you were a child and you were living in that place, and

Kate Harlow: 00:25:43

you constantly got in trouble for it. You constantly got shut

Kate Harlow: 00:25:47

down. You constantly got taught somebody else had the answer,

Kate Harlow: 00:25:50

not you, that somebody else knew what was better for you, not

Kate Harlow: 00:25:54

you, that there was something else you should be doing rather

Kate Harlow: 00:25:56

than the thing that feels good, right? So that part of you

Kate Harlow: 00:25:59

thinks is dangerous, but it actually isn't. What's dangerous

Kate Harlow: 00:26:04

is ignoring your heart and not following the frequency of your

Kate Harlow: 00:26:07

heart. So, you know, I was hearing from a woman, I was just

Kate Harlow: 00:26:11

having a conversation with, a woman who's was having some

Kate Harlow: 00:26:13

struggles, and I was thinking, you know, my response to her was

Kate Harlow: 00:26:17

like, every single like, the only answer is, you're not

Kate Harlow: 00:26:19

listening to the frequency of your heart, like you keep

Kate Harlow: 00:26:21

staying in all these places that don't places that don't feel

Kate Harlow: 00:26:23

good, and going against the truth, and staying in the job

Kate Harlow: 00:26:26

that feels horrible, and working insane hours, and living in a

Kate Harlow: 00:26:30

city that doesn't feel good, and being a relationship that

Kate Harlow: 00:26:32

doesn't feel good, being in friendships that don't feel

Kate Harlow: 00:26:34

aligned, and then telling yourself it's this is the only

Kate Harlow: 00:26:37

option, right? If you are not happy, you are not living from

Kate Harlow: 00:26:41

your heart. When you live from the frequency of your heart,

Kate Harlow: 00:26:44

there's this deep and it's not like, you know, I think often we

Kate Harlow: 00:26:48

think in terms of, like, really high highs and really low lows.

Kate Harlow: 00:26:51

It's not like that. When you're living from the frequency of

Kate Harlow: 00:26:54

your heart, it is just, it's grounded, but it's like, juicy

Kate Harlow: 00:26:59

and satiating and rich and meaningful. And you know that

Kate Harlow: 00:27:05

the thing is, like it is in the unknown of what like me saying

Kate Harlow: 00:27:10

yes to Jesus Christ, superstar, and then that experience was one

Kate Harlow: 00:27:14

of the best experiences of my whole entire life, especially

Kate Harlow: 00:27:18

the week of the show and the dress rehearsals. Like I cannot

Kate Harlow: 00:27:21

think of it or no, that's not true. I've had many times like

Kate Harlow: 00:27:24

that. But like the collective energy, the bonding with the

Kate Harlow: 00:27:27

cast, the community, the singing, the dancing, the

Kate Harlow: 00:27:30

performing, the being on stage like that brings my soul alive.

Kate Harlow: 00:27:35

Old me was afraid of that. I was afraid of being on stage. I was

Kate Harlow: 00:27:38

afraid of being in the spotlight, right? So if my fear

Kate Harlow: 00:27:41

was making the decision, I would have found a lot of distractions

Kate Harlow: 00:27:43

to not follow that and honor that. But I think, like, wow,

Kate Harlow: 00:27:48

what would my life be had I not followed that, and then the next

Kate Harlow: 00:27:52

thing, and then the next thing. So first thing is to build a

Kate Harlow: 00:27:55

relationship with your heart and start making choices, even small

Kate Harlow: 00:27:58

ones from her right? Let's say there's like, a little desire to

Kate Harlow: 00:28:03

go on a camping trip with your friends, or, I guess we're going

Kate Harlow: 00:28:05

into winter. I'm going into summer over here, but they're

Kate Harlow: 00:28:07

down here, but most people are going into winter. If you are,

Kate Harlow: 00:28:12

it's like, okay, maybe it's not camping, but maybe it's like,

Kate Harlow: 00:28:14

going to, I don't know, a musical, or going skiing for the

Kate Harlow: 00:28:17

weekend, or whatever. Like, you have this desire in your heart,

Kate Harlow: 00:28:20

if you like, always desire to do this like sexy dance class, but

Kate Harlow: 00:28:24

your your saboteur is like, No, you're too overweight, you're

Kate Harlow: 00:28:27

too unattractive, you're too uncoordinated, you're not,

Kate Harlow: 00:28:30

you're not, you're gonna embarrass yourself. Follow the

Kate Harlow: 00:28:33

cue of the heart, right? Let your saboteur vent, let her

Kate Harlow: 00:28:37

share her fear, and don't follow her. That is like you have to

Kate Harlow: 00:28:42

build the trust. Trust doesn't just happen. You have been

Kate Harlow: 00:28:46

programmed to not trust yourself. You have to rebuild

Kate Harlow: 00:28:48

that muscle, right? And you have to say yes over and over again.

Kate Harlow: 00:28:51

So I said yes to Jesus Christ Superstar. I said yes to

Kate Harlow: 00:28:54

starting this business. I said yes to the podcast. I said yes

Kate Harlow: 00:28:58

to doing retreats in Africa and in Greece, I said yes to moving

Kate Harlow: 00:29:03

to Greece on a whim because my heart said yes. I said yes to

Kate Harlow: 00:29:07

coming to Kenya. I said, like all of the things that I've said

Kate Harlow: 00:29:11

yes to, there's 10 million that's just a tiny snippet, but

Kate Harlow: 00:29:15

I say yes over and over and over and over again. Now it's

Kate Harlow: 00:29:18

impossible to not now I can't I don't ask anyone. Didn't ask

Kate Harlow: 00:29:21

anyone if I should go to Kenya. Not even Mariana, my my closest

Kate Harlow: 00:29:26

friend, you know, our Chell or Andy. I didn't ask any of them.

Kate Harlow: 00:29:31

I didn't ask anyone what they I thought that I should do. I was

Kate Harlow: 00:29:34

like, I'm going to Kenya. I'm moving to Kenya. And it was just

Kate Harlow: 00:29:39

like, I don't know for how long, I don't know why, but I'm moving

Kate Harlow: 00:29:42

to Kenya. My heart is home there, and I'm following it, and

Kate Harlow: 00:29:46

let's see. And you know, I'm so excited for this podcast. One

Kate Harlow: 00:29:51

year from now, you and I are going to be having a

Kate Harlow: 00:29:52

conversation, and my life's going to look different, and I

Kate Harlow: 00:29:55

don't even know what it's going to look like, but that's the

Kate Harlow: 00:29:58

beauty of living from the. Frequency of the heart is the

Kate Harlow: 00:30:02

journey of expansive experiences and cool people that you meet

Kate Harlow: 00:30:07

and amazing you know, new parts of yourself you discover it's

Kate Harlow: 00:30:12

never ending. You know, I was having a chat with one of my

Kate Harlow: 00:30:16

heroine one of my heroine sisters, the other day about the

Kate Harlow: 00:30:21

journey and her saboteur, was like, oh, you know, I know how

Kate Harlow: 00:30:25

you say it never ends. It's just like, Oh, I gotta do more work,

Kate Harlow: 00:30:29

and the work never ends. And I'm like, No, that's why I don't

Kate Harlow: 00:30:31

call it work. It's a treasure hunt. It's actually an exciting

Kate Harlow: 00:30:35

thing that it never ends. Because what never ends is your

Kate Harlow: 00:30:39

your ability to meet new parts of yourself, and the only way we

Kate Harlow: 00:30:43

meet new parts of ourselves is by doing new things when we are

Kate Harlow: 00:30:47

following the call of the heart and not letting the fear based

Kate Harlow: 00:30:50

mind make the decisions right. That's the only way we meet new

Kate Harlow: 00:30:53

parts of ourselves. So the more you follow your heart and take

Kate Harlow: 00:30:56

risks and make courageous choices and do things

Kate Harlow: 00:30:59

differently, and just listen to that, that nudge, that's there,

Kate Harlow: 00:31:03

even if it's terrifying. You jump off the cliff, not

Kate Harlow: 00:31:06

literally, but you take those risks. You move to that place.

Kate Harlow: 00:31:10

You leave that relationship. You, you go on that date, you,

Kate Harlow: 00:31:15

you, you join that group, you start that nonprofit, you take

Kate Harlow: 00:31:20

that dance class, the more you do that, your nervous system

Kate Harlow: 00:31:24

will become so regulated, like I had chronic anxiety when I was

Kate Harlow: 00:31:28

living my when my life was a scripted lie, when I was trying

Kate Harlow: 00:31:32

to squeeze myself into the script, and I was lying to

Kate Harlow: 00:31:34

myself constantly about my true desires, and I was saying yes to

Kate Harlow: 00:31:37

things that were actually a no to my heart. I was chronically

Kate Harlow: 00:31:40

anxious. I couldn't sleep at night. I had the worst

Kate Harlow: 00:31:43

constipation. I was a wreck on the inside. Hated myself, and

Kate Harlow: 00:31:48

now I'm like, knock on wood. I never have anxiety,

Kate Harlow: 00:31:52

circumstantial, but anxiety is not in my system. My nervous

Kate Harlow: 00:31:57

system is so regulated, the most common thing I reflection I get

Kate Harlow: 00:32:00

from people is how calm they feel when they're around me, and

Kate Harlow: 00:32:03

how children tell me that all the time. Actually, I've had so

Kate Harlow: 00:32:07

many children. I was staying with my bestie this summer and

Kate Harlow: 00:32:10

her her stepdaughter, said I love being around Kate, because

Kate Harlow: 00:32:13

I feel so calm when I'm with her, and she's so grounding to

Kate Harlow: 00:32:17

be around. Okay, that was not me before, when I was not living

Kate Harlow: 00:32:21

from the frequency of the heart, I was an anxious wreck. I was

Kate Harlow: 00:32:25

not I was bubbly and happy, but it was very fake and was not

Kate Harlow: 00:32:30

calm to be around. So that's like one of the greatest gifts

Kate Harlow: 00:32:32

of living from your heart and trusting your heart is like all

Kate Harlow: 00:32:35

that anxiety goes away. You don't have to go to the doctor

Kate Harlow: 00:32:37

and numb your pain. It goes away because you're listening to your

Kate Harlow: 00:32:41

heart, all anxiety is is telling you you're not you're going

Kate Harlow: 00:32:44

against the truth of who you are. That's it. It's just an

Kate Harlow: 00:32:47

indicator. Ding, ding, ding. You're going against the truth

Kate Harlow: 00:32:49

of who you are. You're believing something that's not true about

Kate Harlow: 00:32:51

yourself. You're telling yourself something that's not

Kate Harlow: 00:32:53

true. You're saying yes to something that's a no. You're

Kate Harlow: 00:32:55

saying no to something that's a yes. That's what causes anxiety.

Kate Harlow: 00:32:59

So build a relationship with your heart. Don't ask for other

Kate Harlow: 00:33:01

people's advice. You need to build it yourself. You need to

Kate Harlow: 00:33:06

learn to follow your heart without getting opinions and

Kate Harlow: 00:33:09

just telling people this is what I'm doing. The couple that I met

Kate Harlow: 00:33:12

at dinner last night from Lebanon, they're climbing Mount

Kate Harlow: 00:33:16

Kilimanjaro on Monday, and they're just so clear, and

Kate Harlow: 00:33:20

they're not hikers or anything. They're just like, that's what

Kate Harlow: 00:33:23

we're doing. And we had the most hilarious conversations about

Kate Harlow: 00:33:26

it. Laughed our heads off. It was such a beautiful night, but

Kate Harlow: 00:33:29

they're going to Kilimanjaro. It's just that's it. And like,

Kate Harlow: 00:33:32

people here do wild things, like ears is so cool. Living in a

Kate Harlow: 00:33:37

place where people are like, it's everyone I meet is so

Kate Harlow: 00:33:41

interesting and living these wild unscripted lives, which is

Kate Harlow: 00:33:44

probably why my wild unscripted heart was drawn here, right? And

Kate Harlow: 00:33:48

I don't feel good in North America, because so many people

Kate Harlow: 00:33:50

are still following the script and trying to be the good girl

Kate Harlow: 00:33:53

and trying to be perfect, and trying to do it right, and

Kate Harlow: 00:33:55

trying to sacrifice themselves for everyone, and trying to be

Kate Harlow: 00:33:58

successful, trying to get to the next thing and the next thing

Kate Harlow: 00:34:00

and the next thing. Meanwhile, nobody's living, nobody's

Kate Harlow: 00:34:03

birthing these amazing things, nobody's creating, nobody's

Kate Harlow: 00:34:06

collaborating, everybody's alone in their box, miserable. Not

Kate Harlow: 00:34:10

everyone, obviously. But that's my experience of being in North

Kate Harlow: 00:34:14

America, that there's this, like, this is kind of in the air

Kate Harlow: 00:34:18

there. So you get to be a rebel. It's kind of funny, like the

Kate Harlow: 00:34:23

truest rebel of all is the one who follows her heart, is the

Kate Harlow: 00:34:26

one who doesn't do what everyone else is doing. And is like,

Kate Harlow: 00:34:29

actually, I'm gonna go that way, because I have this feeling, and

Kate Harlow: 00:34:32

I don't know why, but I'm going there. And then what happens is,

Kate Harlow: 00:34:38

when she leads your heart, leads you start to collect evidence.

Kate Harlow: 00:34:42

And this is number three, you want to actively write down the

Kate Harlow: 00:34:45

evidence, even now of all the times you followed your heart

Kate Harlow: 00:34:49

and then how you felt after and what actually happened when you

Kate Harlow: 00:34:52

had the courage to hop on that ferry and go to that Greek

Kate Harlow: 00:34:56

island by yourself, instead of do what everyone else was doing,

Kate Harlow: 00:34:58

or to to. To go on that camping trip when you were terrified, to

Kate Harlow: 00:35:03

camp in the wild with lions and elephants. That was me last

Kate Harlow: 00:35:07

year, or whatever, whatever the thing is, right? Write down all

Kate Harlow: 00:35:11

of the times that you actually listen to your heart

Kate Harlow: 00:35:15

and what was the impact. How did it change your life? How did it

Kate Harlow: 00:35:19

affect you? How did you feel before, during and after? How

Kate Harlow: 00:35:23

loud did your saboteur get? How loud did your saboteur try and

Kate Harlow: 00:35:26

take you out? How much did your saboteur try and take you out?

Kate Harlow: 00:35:29

And did you make new choices? Collect evidence because you're

Kate Harlow: 00:35:34

it is not logical, following your heart. It's not linear.

Kate Harlow: 00:35:37

It's not logical. She's always going to want to do the thing

Kate Harlow: 00:35:41

that is that's logical, that's practical, she's going to want

Kate Harlow: 00:35:43

to look around. Your saboteur looks around and goes, Oh no, we

Kate Harlow: 00:35:46

need to fit in. We need to belong with everyone else. And

Kate Harlow: 00:35:49

they're all going that way, so I can't go that way. I got to do

Kate Harlow: 00:35:52

what everyone else is doing. Meanwhile, if you do what

Kate Harlow: 00:35:54

everyone else is doing, you are following the script, and you

Kate Harlow: 00:35:57

will never be happy inside of that place. There is no soul

Kate Harlow: 00:36:00

satisfaction, satiation, turn on, joy, aliveness, vitality,

Kate Harlow: 00:36:05

expansiveness, magical, epic opportunities, synchronicities,

Kate Harlow: 00:36:09

all of that doesn't exist when you follow the script. It only

Kate Harlow: 00:36:11

exists when you follow your heart, but when you follow your

Kate Harlow: 00:36:14

heart, it's constant. It's constant. I can't even believe

Kate Harlow: 00:36:17

the magic I'm experiencing right now. Like, and I just arrived,

Kate Harlow: 00:36:21

and it's just like, and it's so grounded, you know, being in

Kate Harlow: 00:36:26

this cottage, I'm just like, I wake up in the morning. I'm

Kate Harlow: 00:36:28

like, this. It's a it's a perfect bed. It's about, like,

Kate Harlow: 00:36:32

every everything about, I have a cat, I have a fire. I don't know

Kate Harlow: 00:36:35

how to build a fire, but my friend built one for me last

Kate Harlow: 00:36:38

night. I have no idea how to build a fire, but I'm learning,

Kate Harlow: 00:36:43

and I My Friend's Boyfriend built one for me, and I'm gonna

Kate Harlow: 00:36:47

light it tonight. He just like, set it up for me. But it's like,

Kate Harlow: 00:36:50

I've got this new life out here, and I'm learning and I'm

Kate Harlow: 00:36:54

growing. And does it come without discomfort? No, of

Kate Harlow: 00:36:57

course, there's discomfort, right? It's scary to go into the

Kate Harlow: 00:37:01

unknown, but my loves, that's where you will meet all of who

Kate Harlow: 00:37:05

you are. That's where you'll grow the most, and that's where

Kate Harlow: 00:37:09

you'll have the most regulated nervous system and the calmest

Kate Harlow: 00:37:12

inner world, because your heart knows where you're meant to be.

Kate Harlow: 00:37:15

That's the beauty. Your heart is your gateway. It's your compass.

Kate Harlow: 00:37:20

It is your GPS. Your heart knows where you're meant to be, what

Kate Harlow: 00:37:24

rooms you're meant to be in, what relationships are aligned,

Kate Harlow: 00:37:27

what friendships are aligned, what places you're meant to live

Kate Harlow: 00:37:30

in, what experiences you're meant to have. And most of us

Kate Harlow: 00:37:33

are so used to letting fear drive and make the decisions,

Kate Harlow: 00:37:36

but when you live from the frequency of the heart,

Kate Harlow: 00:37:39

everything changes, and there's so much in store for you. I know

Kate Harlow: 00:37:46

I've said that 10 million times, but my my goodness, that's the

Kate Harlow: 00:37:50

only answer. If you're miserable, you're not listening

Kate Harlow: 00:37:53

to your heart. So spend some time in meditation, in

Kate Harlow: 00:37:57

reflection, in writing, in exploration, exploring like what

Kate Harlow: 00:38:01

heart nudges have I been ignoring? What heart nudges have

Kate Harlow: 00:38:05

I followed in the past that have led me to where I want to be?

Kate Harlow: 00:38:08

What does my heart ache for? You might not even know right now,

Kate Harlow: 00:38:11

but start the conversation now. Start to create the space. And

Kate Harlow: 00:38:15

if you are just go, go, go, go, go, go, do, do, do, do, do. And

Kate Harlow: 00:38:18

you have no space for your heart and no time with to be present

Kate Harlow: 00:38:21

with yourself. You might miss all the guidance, but the

Kate Harlow: 00:38:25

guidance is inside. Nobody else has the answer, no. Psychic, no.

Kate Harlow: 00:38:29

I mean, when you talk to a psychic, if your heart lights up

Kate Harlow: 00:38:31

when she says something, that's an indicator. But no psychic, no

Kate Harlow: 00:38:35

best friend, no boyfriend, no doctor, no no guru, no tarot

Kate Harlow: 00:38:41

card reader. Nobody knows what is true for you and your heart,

Kate Harlow: 00:38:45

except you. So if you don't slow down and create this space, you

Kate Harlow: 00:38:49

will miss the signals, you will miss the indicators, and you

Kate Harlow: 00:38:54

will keep perpetuating suffering. So if you want to

Kate Harlow: 00:38:57

live a life where you feel alive and inspired and ignited and

Kate Harlow: 00:39:03

creative, and you love what you do and who you are and where you

Kate Harlow: 00:39:07

are and like it all comes from Living from the heart and

Kate Harlow: 00:39:10

listening to her. So that's it for this week. I hope you

Kate Harlow: 00:39:14

enjoyed it. Please share this episode with every woman you

Kate Harlow: 00:39:16

know who's ready and needs to start to listen to the frequency

Kate Harlow: 00:39:20

of her heart and to trust herself more as women, that's

Kate Harlow: 00:39:24

what the world needs more than ever. As women fucking trusting

Kate Harlow: 00:39:27

themselves, not trusting everybody else, and then

Kate Harlow: 00:39:30

constantly feeling like shit inside, we need a world of women

Kate Harlow: 00:39:34

who rise and take Have courage and take risks and trust

Kate Harlow: 00:39:38

themselves to know the truth, to have their own answers. Trust

Kate Harlow: 00:39:44

lives inside of you, and it has to be built, and you have to

Kate Harlow: 00:39:47

dedicate and devote yourself to it. But let me tell you, from

Kate Harlow: 00:39:50

over here in my little cottage in in Kenya, your heart is so

Kate Harlow: 00:39:56

wise and will lead you to the most magical places. So. I love

Kate Harlow: 00:40:01

you. Would love to hear from you. Send reviews would be

Kate Harlow: 00:40:05

great. I have lots of exciting guests coming up too. Someone

Kate Harlow: 00:40:09

you might know really intimately is coming up in a few weeks. So

Kate Harlow: 00:40:11

excited to share an old friend of yours and a dear friend of

Kate Harlow: 00:40:15

mine on the podcast in a couple of weeks, and that's all I'm

Kate Harlow: 00:40:19

going to say. But would love to hear from you. If you have any

Kate Harlow: 00:40:23

topics you want to want me to talk about, please bring them to

Kate Harlow: 00:40:26

me. Send me a DM or a private message on Facebook or

Kate Harlow: 00:40:29

Instagram. Kate Harlow or the unscripted woman, and I'll see

Kate Harlow: 00:40:33

you next week.