The Secret to Living Free with Leah Brathwaite

Kate Harlow: 00:00:00

Retreats brought me to Kenya. I fell in love the

Kate Harlow: 00:00:02

second day I was here, I was like, I think I want to live

Kate Harlow: 00:00:05

here. And that made no sense at the time. And now, a year later,

Kate Harlow: 00:00:09

I followed my heart and I'm here kind of indefinitely. I have

Kate Harlow: 00:00:13

rented a cottage for six months, but I told the owner today. I'm

Kate Harlow: 00:00:16

like, probably I'll just stay here forever. It's just I am so

Kate Harlow: 00:00:20

alive and happy here, and that's living free is like really,

Kate Harlow: 00:00:25

truly living from the pulse of my heart and the nudges and the

Kate Harlow: 00:00:29

deep desires and my soul. Hello, my loves. Before you get into

Kate Harlow: 00:00:34

this week's episode, I wanted just to share a little context

Kate Harlow: 00:00:37

with you about it, as it's a little bit different. This

Kate Harlow: 00:00:40

week's episode is a conversation and interview that I had on my

Kate Harlow: 00:00:44

dear soul sister and beautiful friend Leah brathwaite's

Kate Harlow: 00:00:48

podcast. It's her new podcast. She's been teaching women work

Kate Harlow: 00:00:53

very similar to mine. Her method is called the live free

Kate Harlow: 00:00:56

lifestyle, and she's an author, a soul advisor, a Kundalini

Kate Harlow: 00:01:01

instructor, Human Design Guide. She kind of weaves all of her

Kate Harlow: 00:01:04

soul magic together into her work, and she invited me on her

Kate Harlow: 00:01:09

podcast called The live free lifestyle. And she has these

Kate Harlow: 00:01:13

incredibly powerful conversations with many

Kate Harlow: 00:01:15

different teachers and healers and coaches on how they actually

Kate Harlow: 00:01:19

broke free and started to live freely. So this conversation is

Kate Harlow: 00:01:24

really her interviewing me, and I thought I would share it here

Kate Harlow: 00:01:27

too, because it was a really fun, beautiful conversation. Of

Kate Harlow: 00:01:30

course, we both share our wisdom and just have a really deep chat

Kate Harlow: 00:01:33

about what it really means to be liberated and free of the

Kate Harlow: 00:01:36

scripted life of, you know, being the women we've been

Kate Harlow: 00:01:39

conditioned to be and how to really go your own way. So I

Kate Harlow: 00:01:44

hope you enjoy this episode, and as always, share it with all the

Kate Harlow: 00:01:48

women in your life who need a little liberation, who need to

Kate Harlow: 00:01:51

live free, and I'll see you soon. Enjoy.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:00

Welcome back to another episode of The Live,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:02

free Lifestyle Podcast. I am your host, Leah Brathwaite, and

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:06

today I have a very special guest to welcome to the show.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:10

She is a love and relationship coach, host of the new truth

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:14

podcast, founder of the expanded love method, and one of my

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:18

nearest and dearest soul sister friends. Kate Harlow, welcome to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:23

the show.

Kate Harlow: 00:02:24

Kate, thanks. Whoa. It feels good to be here. I was

Kate Harlow: 00:02:29

on part of the like crew of initiating you into doing this

Kate Harlow: 00:02:34

podcast.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:35

You've been doing yours for like five years.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:38

Five years now, I think, yeah, yeah. I've been hearing over and

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:41

over, you should do a podcast. It's the best thing ever. And

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:44

you were so right. But you know, we do things when we are ready

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:47

to do things. So, so happy to be having this conversation with

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:51

you today, because I mean not just the fact that you're one of

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:54

my favorite people, but our stories have this cool,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:02:58

interwoven kind of synchronicity to them that I think is really

Leah Brathwaite: 00:03:02

fun to explore on this episode, and also you just have so much

Leah Brathwaite: 00:03:06

wisdom to share. So I'm excited to just hear what comes up

Leah Brathwaite: 00:03:09

through this conversation. But I want to kind of kick things off

Leah Brathwaite: 00:03:12

with the way that I kick off every one of these episodes and

Leah Brathwaite: 00:03:17

ask the question, what does it mean to you to live free? This

Kate Harlow: 00:03:20

is such a good question. It's so yummy. I have

Kate Harlow: 00:03:24

to go back and listen to all the interviews, all the

Kate Harlow: 00:03:26

conversations with people's answers. What does it mean for

Kate Harlow: 00:03:30

me to live free? Well, I've been on a journey for 20 years of

Kate Harlow: 00:03:35

untethering from the scripted version of who I was taught to

Kate Harlow: 00:03:38

be, and liberating my heart and soul to live a life that's for

Kate Harlow: 00:03:43

me, and so I'd say that's it like living an unscripted,

Kate Harlow: 00:03:49

unapologetic life that is fully from my own body, my own soul,

Kate Harlow: 00:03:54

my own heart, that's not for anyone else, not asking

Kate Harlow: 00:03:58

permission or even opinions of other people, but making choices

Kate Harlow: 00:04:03

based on what is so true for me. And I just made a big one. So I

Kate Harlow: 00:04:07

think like I'm in the land of the free, the true land of the

Kate Harlow: 00:04:10

free. I'm I just moved to Kenya after my heart, brought me here

Kate Harlow: 00:04:15

in 20 life. Brought me here in 2024 and as you know, made this

Kate Harlow: 00:04:19

huge transition. I've been living I've been living abroad

Kate Harlow: 00:04:22

for a while, been living in Greece for almost four years,

Kate Harlow: 00:04:25

and retreats brought me to Greece. I fell in love with

Kate Harlow: 00:04:28

Greek culture, fell in love with Greek people, and moved there on

Kate Harlow: 00:04:32

a whim, as you know, like total spontaneous covid reaction to an

Kate Harlow: 00:04:38

airplane I couldn't get on and move there in a moment. And the

Kate Harlow: 00:04:42

A similar thing happened with Kenya, where I retreats, brought

Kate Harlow: 00:04:45

me to Kenya. I fell in love the second day I was here, I was

Kate Harlow: 00:04:48

like, I think I want to live here. And that made no sense at

Kate Harlow: 00:04:52

the time. And now, a year later, I followed my heart, and I'm

Kate Harlow: 00:04:56

here kind of indefinitely. I have rented a cottage for. Six

Kate Harlow: 00:05:00

months, but I told the owner today, I'm like, probably I'll

Kate Harlow: 00:05:02

just stay here forever. It's just I am so alive and happy

Kate Harlow: 00:05:07

here. And that's living free is like really, truly living from

Kate Harlow: 00:05:11

the pulse of my heart and the nudges and the deep desires in

Kate Harlow: 00:05:15

my soul. Yes,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:05:17

so beautiful. And I think that's one of the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:05:20

things that we connected on so deeply. So when we met, I had

Leah Brathwaite: 00:05:24

just moved to Vancouver, covid time. We just entered lockdown

Leah Brathwaite: 00:05:30

right when I got there. And I had been traveling in Thailand,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:05:34

I lived in Toronto, and that sort of thing. On my own journey

Leah Brathwaite: 00:05:37

of living free, as I call it, or yields in your language, it's

Leah Brathwaite: 00:05:40

like living that unscripted life of following the calling of your

Leah Brathwaite: 00:05:44

soul to allow what is moving in you to be the thing that guides

Leah Brathwaite: 00:05:47

your way. So my deepest core belief is that when you follow

Leah Brathwaite: 00:05:51

your soul, it will lead you to a life beyond your wildest dreams.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:05:55

And the relationships that I found in Vancouver, you being

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:00

one of them were like soul mate relationships with women that I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:03

had never had before, and that was one of the things that we

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:06

really connected on this idea of what it means to live free. We

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:10

were both doing work around the same theme, but in very

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:15

different ways. And you had mentioned that to you like at

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:19

the beginning, when you were saying what it means to you to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:21

live free. It was this untethering of all of the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:25

confines, all of the constructs, all of the conditioning that you

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:29

were brought up with. And it's not to say that it was all bad,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:34

like we know our parents are trying the best with what

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:36

they've got, and society is what it is. But I'm curious if you

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:40

can share a little bit about what that experience of

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:43

untethering was like for you. So in most of my conversations with

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:48

others, there's this, what I call the oh shit moment where

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:51

you realize, like, oh shit, I have the opportunity to make a

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:55

different choice here, maybe in the past, not knowing what I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:06:58

didn't know. I kept repeating the same patterns. But right

Leah Brathwaite: 00:07:01

here, right now. This is a moment where my soul, my heart,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:07:05

my being, is telling me that there is another way for me to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:07:08

do this. There is a more liberated and free way for me to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:07:11

be. So I'm curious if you have an oh shit moment that comes to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:07:14

mind, or if you can share a little bit about what that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:07:18

untethering or unwinding process has been like for you

Kate Harlow: 00:07:22

that is so funny, because when we were talking

Kate Harlow: 00:07:26

before we hit record, we were joking about you introducing me

Kate Harlow: 00:07:29

as my my legal name, my OG name, and I was like, don't really do

Kate Harlow: 00:07:36

that. And then I was like, unless it comes up organically.

Kate Harlow: 00:07:38

But of course, this is the first place where I started to walk

Kate Harlow: 00:07:41

away from the script because I so my for those of you who don't

Kate Harlow: 00:07:47

know me, my legal name is Andrea, Kathleen Irwin, and I

Kate Harlow: 00:07:51

had a grandfather that called me Kathleen. My whole life.

Kate Harlow: 00:07:53

Everyone else called me Andrea, and no one understood why he

Kate Harlow: 00:07:56

called me Kathleen, but we you know, I was very close with him,

Kate Harlow: 00:08:00

and I didn't understand either, but I always responded to it.

Kate Harlow: 00:08:03

And I changed my name, as you know, when I was 25 I'm 44 now,

Kate Harlow: 00:08:06

so almost 20 years ago, I've almost been, you know, Kate

Kate Harlow: 00:08:10

Harlow, longer than I was my other name, it's like almost at

Kate Harlow: 00:08:13

the tipping point. But I changed my name from Andrea to my middle

Kate Harlow: 00:08:18

name, Kate. Kate, short for like Kathleen, but Kate, but

Kate Harlow: 00:08:22

actually, Katie was the first iteration of it, and that at 25

Kate Harlow: 00:08:26

years old was the most hardest confronting fucking thing I'd

Kate Harlow: 00:08:29

ever done in my life. Like so confronting because I was

Kate Harlow: 00:08:35

ultimate good girl, ultimate people pleaser, oh, like

Kate Harlow: 00:08:38

following the script to a T fantasy, love addict, like

Kate Harlow: 00:08:41

everything I teach women to no longer be I was at the time, and

Kate Harlow: 00:08:46

my whole world. Every decision I made was based on other people's

Kate Harlow: 00:08:50

opinions, and everyone judged me for this one all of my closest

Kate Harlow: 00:08:54

friends, the only person who allowed me to even play with the

Kate Harlow: 00:08:58

idea of changing my name was my boyfriend at the time, Charlie,

Kate Harlow: 00:09:02

and he was an actor. So he had multiple names because he was an

Kate Harlow: 00:09:04

actor. And like, he'd go by his middle name at home and his

Kate Harlow: 00:09:07

first name in Vancouver and and so he encouraged it, because I

Kate Harlow: 00:09:12

had, he had found out that I hated my name, and he was like,

Kate Harlow: 00:09:15

You're 25 years old. Like, are you seriously gonna go by a name

Kate Harlow: 00:09:19

you hate for another like, what if you lived to be 175 years?

Kate Harlow: 00:09:22

And I was like, Well, yeah, yeah, because people will judge

Kate Harlow: 00:09:27

me. Like that was actually torture to imagine not being

Kate Harlow: 00:09:32

having everyone disown me and and the worst case scenario kind

Kate Harlow: 00:09:37

of happened. I went through the like, we started to play with it

Kate Harlow: 00:09:40

at home. He started calling me Katie, and that was he

Kate Harlow: 00:09:43

introduced me as Katie. And it started to feel like, Oh my God.

Kate Harlow: 00:09:45

I think this is me. I think like, because I never felt like,

Kate Harlow: 00:09:48

Andrea my whole life was just like, this coat doesn't fit.

Kate Harlow: 00:09:51

This coat doesn't fit even when I was a kid. And so I started to

Kate Harlow: 00:09:55

resonate more and more with it. And I finally came to the

Kate Harlow: 00:09:57

decision, I'm like, okay, the internal does. Desire for me to

Kate Harlow: 00:10:00

be in alignment with who I really am is stronger. This is

Kate Harlow: 00:10:03

really important than the caring what other people think about

Kate Harlow: 00:10:08

me. So I was willing to walk through the fire for the first

Kate Harlow: 00:10:11

time that I think that was actually my biggest initiation.

Kate Harlow: 00:10:14

I sent an email to everyone I knew. It's kind of like pre

Kate Harlow: 00:10:16

social media. So I was like, I'm officially changing my name.

Kate Harlow: 00:10:20

This comes from my middle name. Here's why, here's the

Kate Harlow: 00:10:23

reasoning. And the people who got on board were my family. I

Kate Harlow: 00:10:26

talked to my parents about it before sending the email, but my

Kate Harlow: 00:10:29

family were so supportive. All my cousins, all my aunts and

Kate Harlow: 00:10:32

uncles, didn't skip a beat. Never called me Andrea again. My

Kate Harlow: 00:10:35

grandparents, even when they had dementia at the end of their

Kate Harlow: 00:10:38

lives, never went back like they always called me Katie, and then

Kate Harlow: 00:10:42

eventually I became Kate. And then a year before, I started my

Kate Harlow: 00:10:45

business, so over 10 years ago, I decided, like, I just had this

Kate Harlow: 00:10:49

feeling, I'm going to be known one day, and I didn't want to be

Kate Harlow: 00:10:51

known as Kate Irwin. And then I had this epiphany in the bath,

Kate Harlow: 00:10:55

and was like, Harlow is my great grandfather's name, and he was a

Kate Harlow: 00:10:58

preacher and very impactful Australian guy, very inspiring

Kate Harlow: 00:11:02

man. And so that's where Harlow came from. So they all were

Kate Harlow: 00:11:05

pieces of me, but but claiming them the first time, once I got

Kate Harlow: 00:11:10

to Harlow, you know, 10 years ago, I didn't care what people

Kate Harlow: 00:11:13

thought. It didn't matter anymore. I was like, no. What

Kate Harlow: 00:11:16

matters is how I feel. But at the time, in the beginning, the

Kate Harlow: 00:11:19

first several initiations, or the first several years of the

Kate Harlow: 00:11:23

journey of becoming who you really are, you have to be

Kate Harlow: 00:11:26

willing to burn everything down to the ground and walk through

Kate Harlow: 00:11:30

the fire. And I literally lost all my friends. Like everyone I

Kate Harlow: 00:11:32

was close with at that time no longer stayed close with me.

Kate Harlow: 00:11:37

They never told me why, but it was so obvious. But it was

Kate Harlow: 00:11:41

because energetically, you know this, they could they weren't

Kate Harlow: 00:11:44

aligned to come with me. They couldn't come with me because

Kate Harlow: 00:11:47

they weren't they were devoted to the script, to the to the

Kate Harlow: 00:11:51

predetermined, pre ordered life, not the unscripted, like

Kate Harlow: 00:11:57

unknown, mystical, mysterious, magical life that unfolds when

Kate Harlow: 00:12:02

we follow our souls. Totally.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:05

Yeah. So there's so many things in that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:07

sharing that are so important, like nuggets that I kind of want

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:11

to touch on. So one of the first things is like, there comes a

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:14

moment, and like I said at the outset of this, like, you've

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:16

been telling me you should do a podcast, like, ever since we

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:18

met, basically, and that was like, in 2020 and you can only

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:22

do something when you get to the point of being ready to do

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:25

something. And it's like the the not for another second moment. I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:29

had that in my kitchen where I was like, I've been doing all

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:32

the things being the good girl. This is my dream house, but I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:36

cannot live this life for another second. So there's this

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:39

point that there's probably whispers over and over, like you

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:43

said you were hearing like, I hate my name. I've hated my name

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:45

for 25 years. There were like little whispers over and over,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:48

until you get to that I'm done moment where you're like, I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:51

can't do this anymore. And that's where you kind of enter

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:54

the second phase of your life, where you are living for

Leah Brathwaite: 00:12:58

yourself, where you are reclaiming who you're actually

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:01

meant to be and how you actually want to live your life, but

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:05

that's the really important thing that you mentioned. Once

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:07

you walk through that threshold and you're like, Okay, I'm no

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:10

longer going to be the good girl, I'm no longer going to be

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:13

the people pleaser, I'm no longer going to worry about

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:16

making everybody around me happy. I'm going to actually

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:21

decide what makes me happy. That's when you get to see the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:24

truth of the relationships that you've been in and beautiful,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:27

that your family was like, super supportive, and that you had

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:31

kind of that backing, and Charlie was really supportive,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:34

so you had, like, a bit of a foundation. But we get to see

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:38

when we are our true selves, and we're no longer bending over

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:42

backwards and like breaking our own boundaries and abandoning

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:45

ourselves who's left. And I think that's the reason why so

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:50

many people don't make the changes that they feel are

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:55

stirring within them. I know for myself, it was the reason why I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:13:58

didn't leave my religion until I was 30, because I was like, If I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:14:01

leave, I lose everything that feels really scary, and it's

Leah Brathwaite: 00:14:06

like, there's no turning back. It feels like But truly, on the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:14:10

other side of that is your authentic self. Is your your

Leah Brathwaite: 00:14:16

soul expression. It's the life that you are actually here to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:14:19

live. And there's growth, and there's pain, and there's grief,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:14:23

and there's all these human things that the uncomfortable

Leah Brathwaite: 00:14:27

bits that we try to avoid, but when we're able to be with those

Leah Brathwaite: 00:14:31

things, I love, the the way that you speak to it, it's like this

Leah Brathwaite: 00:14:35

expanded love that is available to us. So my question for you

Leah Brathwaite: 00:14:41

is, if you're throwing away the script and you're creating a

Leah Brathwaite: 00:14:46

life that lights up your soul, for a woman who spent her entire

Leah Brathwaite: 00:14:50

life following everybody else's rules, what would you say is the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:14:55

first step to unscripting her her life? Like, how, how would

Leah Brathwaite: 00:15:01

you suggest taking the first step from that for us, like, we

Leah Brathwaite: 00:15:05

kind of did it on our own, not knowing, but for somebody who's,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:15:07

like, I would really love a pathway. So I

Kate Harlow: 00:15:12

don't, yes, you know. And I was thinking what

Kate Harlow: 00:15:15

you said about, like, what we lose when we follow our truth in

Kate Harlow: 00:15:18

our heart and who we lose along the way. You know, the the the

Kate Harlow: 00:15:22

big thing that we lose is anxiety and incongruency. We

Kate Harlow: 00:15:27

lose like the reality is, you think you want everyone's

Kate Harlow: 00:15:31

approval, but that's what's creating your anxiety every day,

Kate Harlow: 00:15:35

because you're living your life for everybody but yourself. But

Kate Harlow: 00:15:37

once you get on board with your own truth and your own

Kate Harlow: 00:15:40

congruency and getting into alignment with who you really

Kate Harlow: 00:15:43

are. You You don't need anyone's approval, nor do you give a

Kate Harlow: 00:15:48

shit. Like when I moved to Kenya, not for one second did I

Kate Harlow: 00:15:51

ask permission. Did I ask people's opinions? I was like,

Kate Harlow: 00:15:55

Oh, my God, my heart and soul, and nobody questioned it

Kate Harlow: 00:15:58

directly. I mean, maybe indirectly. But you know, I

Kate Harlow: 00:16:00

Canadian girl from Vancouver, moves to Africa, like I'm sure

Kate Harlow: 00:16:04

lots of people, I have friends who moved here, and everyone

Kate Harlow: 00:16:06

challenged them about moving here, all their family members,

Kate Harlow: 00:16:09

all their friends. And for me, it's like, Absolutely, I'm going

Kate Harlow: 00:16:16

and it's, it's, it's, my life is my own. And at this point,

Kate Harlow: 00:16:19

people are so used to, yeah, my life being my own, that they

Kate Harlow: 00:16:24

know we know, challenge me. Yeah, in the beginning, it's

Kate Harlow: 00:16:27

like in the beginning of our journey, we it's like all the

Kate Harlow: 00:16:31

people in our scripted life, they've been hired to keep us

Kate Harlow: 00:16:34

there so that they'll call you back. Oh, no, no. What are you

Kate Harlow: 00:16:37

doing? That's crazy. Don't be silly. What are you gonna like?

Kate Harlow: 00:16:40

They'll challenge you because they're looking through the lens

Kate Harlow: 00:16:44

of their limitations, and they're going to project them

Kate Harlow: 00:16:47

onto you, because if you leave, then that's going to shake

Kate Harlow: 00:16:50

things up, and they're going to have to look at themselves in in

Kate Harlow: 00:16:52

some way, and they're going to risk losing you, or they're

Kate Harlow: 00:16:55

going to have to grow and change. So it's their opinions

Kate Harlow: 00:16:58

aren't about you anyways, but know that those people that are

Kate Harlow: 00:17:03

are living from that script itself. I call it your saboteur,

Kate Harlow: 00:17:06

your conditioned self. It's not who you really are when, when

Kate Harlow: 00:17:09

you step out of that, everybody in your life will challenge you.

Kate Harlow: 00:17:12

And when you get to my plate, like the place where I'm at and

Kate Harlow: 00:17:15

you're at where we've been doing this for 1520, years, people

Kate Harlow: 00:17:19

don't they don't challenge you anymore, because you your life

Kate Harlow: 00:17:23

is your own. You're no longer available for that, so you no

Kate Harlow: 00:17:26

longer attract that. But it's kind of part of the initiation.

Kate Harlow: 00:17:29

In the beginning, it's like, Nope, I'm changing my name no

Kate Harlow: 00:17:31

matter what. And like, everything burns to the ground,

Kate Harlow: 00:17:33

and that willingness to keep moving your feet forward, even

Kate Harlow: 00:17:36

though it feels uncomfortable and horrible and like you're

Kate Harlow: 00:17:38

doing something wrong, and all of the the emotions that come

Kate Harlow: 00:17:41

up. But to answer your question about the first step, you know,

Kate Harlow: 00:17:45

when I'm working with women, I have them first get really

Kate Harlow: 00:17:48

intimate with their saboteur, their conditioned self. So

Kate Harlow: 00:17:50

actually, have a mini course that I'll give you, that we can

Kate Harlow: 00:17:53

link below the episode of saboteur. It's called the

Kate Harlow: 00:17:57

expanded love. I don't even know what it's called, anyways, it

Kate Harlow: 00:18:01

helps you identify the five saboteur archetypes. It's on my

Kate Harlow: 00:18:03

Instagram as well, but the five saboteur archetypes that are

Kate Harlow: 00:18:07

playing out for you that your conditioned self is operating

Kate Harlow: 00:18:10

in. So the first step, I believe, before we can just burn

Kate Harlow: 00:18:13

the script and like, become something else, we have to get

Kate Harlow: 00:18:16

intimate with the character we've been playing and, like,

Kate Harlow: 00:18:18

really get to know her and all her nuances and all her sneaky,

Kate Harlow: 00:18:22

manipulative ways that she keeps you, quote, unquote, safe and

Kate Harlow: 00:18:26

comfortable, but actually she keeps you anxious and miserable

Kate Harlow: 00:18:29

and never feeling safe. But she'll convince you that she's

Kate Harlow: 00:18:33

keeping you feeling safe, because the reality is, when you

Kate Harlow: 00:18:36

were a child, that part did keep you safe, like you, we don't

Kate Harlow: 00:18:40

have choices. Children, we don't have choices. Teenagers, other

Kate Harlow: 00:18:43

people are dictating what we do, who we who we surround ourselves

Kate Harlow: 00:18:46

with, where we go. You know, school teachers like we're in so

Kate Harlow: 00:18:51

many situations when we're young that we don't want to be in, and

Kate Harlow: 00:18:55

so that's when we develop these protective mechanisms, the

Kate Harlow: 00:18:58

saboteur, conditioned self, the persona that has you surviving

Kate Harlow: 00:19:04

whatever you're going through in your childhood, whatever you

Kate Harlow: 00:19:07

know ways that you're who you truly are, is being repressed,

Kate Harlow: 00:19:10

and so we needed that adaptive part of ourselves as a kid, but

Kate Harlow: 00:19:14

as an adult, that is the part that stops you from being all of

Kate Harlow: 00:19:18

who you are. It stops you from living a life that's fully for

Kate Harlow: 00:19:21

you and aligned with you. So step one is getting intimate

Kate Harlow: 00:19:25

with your saboteur, getting to know her, getting to know this

Kate Harlow: 00:19:28

persona that you've developed. My clients name that part like,

Kate Harlow: 00:19:32

one of the most popular names there's been is Monica. Any

Kate Harlow: 00:19:35

clients that are super type A and super Control E, like Monica

Kate Harlow: 00:19:38

on friends and like super clean. So that's been the saboteur name

Kate Harlow: 00:19:42

a few times, but they name that part and get to know that part,

Kate Harlow: 00:19:44

because there's something so incredibly powerful when you

Kate Harlow: 00:19:47

externalize the part of you that is your conditioned self, and

Kate Harlow: 00:19:52

she's just protecting a Wounded Little girl, and as long as

Kate Harlow: 00:19:56

she's making the decisions, really a little girl is at the

Kate Harlow: 00:19:59

helm of your life. And choosing your life and and so you'll

Kate Harlow: 00:20:02

never feel safe, you'll never feel secure, you'll never feel

Kate Harlow: 00:20:04

confident, powerful, like anxiety will always be

Kate Harlow: 00:20:07

underneath and so and then, from that place, once you you you

Kate Harlow: 00:20:12

have a clear picture of who you've been behaving as to

Kate Harlow: 00:20:17

survive your childhood, self sacrifice or control or

Kate Harlow: 00:20:20

isolator, Shape Shifter, fantasy addict, these are the five

Kate Harlow: 00:20:24

archetypes. But once you start to really get to know that part

Kate Harlow: 00:20:28

of you, then you can see all the beautiful parts that have been

Kate Harlow: 00:20:30

shut down because she's been leading your life. And then you

Kate Harlow: 00:20:34

start to get to know your desire and get to know those heart

Kate Harlow: 00:20:37

pulses and those things you've been repressing, those truths

Kate Harlow: 00:20:40

you've been repressing, or those desires or those feelings.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:20:43

Yeah, it's so powerful, and I love what you

Leah Brathwaite: 00:20:45

said about when we're children, we're we're manifesting through

Leah Brathwaite: 00:20:50

our parents. We don't have full control over ourselves. We have,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:20:54

like, this tether to this superior being that has

Leah Brathwaite: 00:20:58

authority and that has dictatorship over what we can

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:02

and can't do. So not only does it shape who we think we are in

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:06

the world, it also dictates what we think is available to us. So

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:09

if our parents are like, we can't afford that, or that's not

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:12

for us, or people like us don't do that, we grow up with these

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:16

beliefs and these programs that that continue to run. So like

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:19

you said, it's like a seven year old driving a Mercedes. You have

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:22

like the power or like a Ferrari, you have this infinite

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:26

power that is available to you, but it's the wrong part that is

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:32

driving the ship. So that reorientation to the authentic

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:37

version of yourself, I call it your soul. You You call it your

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:40

heroine. I think it is has to come from first becoming aware

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:45

of what's not working. And I think that's a really important

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:49

thing to acknowledge, like our feelings, and I say this, I feel

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:53

like in every episode, but our feelings of dissatisfaction, our

Leah Brathwaite: 00:21:57

feelings of frustration, our feelings of depression, even,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:01

and anxiety. I thought I was diagnosed with depression and

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:05

anxiety because my doctors just thought that's who I was, but I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:11

was living so in opposition to my truth that that's just a

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:14

natural reaction. It's like this continuous battle within

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:18

yourself. You're constantly repressing yourself that leads

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:23

to a feeling of being depressed, and then you're constantly

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:26

second guessing yourself and not trusting yourself and doubting

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:29

yourself, that creates so much internal anxiety. And so what

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:34

becomes available to us on the other side of that, when we're

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:38

like, okay, I can now separate these two parts. I have this

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:41

conditioned version that I love because she got me to this

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:44

place. Like this is not about shaming any parts. It's about

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:47

saying, Okay, this adaptive strategy is no longer working.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:52

Like it was an adaptation that got me to this point, but I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:22:55

gotta let it go. That's when the higher self and not like higher,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:01

as in better, because I truly believe that both parts are

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:04

necessary, but the part that's connected to your infinite

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:08

nature, your Divine Self, your deepest desires, your deepest

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:12

truth, your mission, your purpose, all of that fulfillment

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:15

that we're all seeking. That's when that version of you gets to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:18

come online, and when she's the one driving the Ferrari, it

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:23

becomes the most beautiful experience, but the part that I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:29

think most people aren't not that they're not prepared for,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:34

but the part that continues to evolve. And that's why in the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:37

work that you do, and in the work that I do, the live, free

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:40

method is something that you do over and over again. It's not

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:42

like, Oh, I'm healed, I'm fixed. I know who my saboteur is, or I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:45

understand my patterns. It's the continual evolution of that.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:51

It's the upward spiral of unwinding more of that, so that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:54

more and more of your truth gets to be expressed. And that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:23:58

creates this need to find certainty within yourself,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:03

because you are constantly pressing up against the unknown

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:06

when you throw away the script and you're no longer following

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:10

what I call the checklist, where I'm like, Okay, I've got college

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:13

degree, I've got husband, I've got house, I've like, we're no

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:17

longer doing the get the nine to five. Retire at 65 and hopefully

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:21

enjoy your life. You are creating it, constantly

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:25

manifesting it, constantly co creating it, and it takes you to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:29

places that you will never imagine, like you probably never

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:32

imagined that you would be living in Kenya, like, even when

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:35

we met, I don't think that was on your radar. So I

Kate Harlow: 00:24:38

didn't even know anything about Africa at the

Kate Harlow: 00:24:40

time, nothing other than like, Oh, I'll go there when I'm 70

Kate Harlow: 00:24:43

and do a safari. Like, yeah,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:44

that would be nice. It's a bucket list that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:46

we'll get to maybe. Like, the things that become available to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:50

you are incredible, like, the fact that I live here in Malibu

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:53

with this most incredible man is not anything that was on my

Leah Brathwaite: 00:24:57

radar even two years ago. So it. Becomes the you become the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:03

author of it. You recognize that even though at one point you

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:07

were manifesting through your parents and there was limitation

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:10

and maybe there was lack, and there was all of these

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:12

circumstances that felt that they were outside of your

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:14

control, you start to realize that you are so much more

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:18

powerful than you ever imagined. And the more that you're in this

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:23

work and like revealing more parts of yourself and really

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:26

connecting to something greater than yourself, the more you get

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:29

to see just how much magic is available to you. So I know you

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:35

work with a lot of women when it comes to their relationships,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:40

and I know like the category is relationships, but it touches

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:43

all parts of their lives, but I would love to know what is the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:48

connection that you see between a woman's relationship with

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:51

herself and the quality of romantic partners that she

Leah Brathwaite: 00:25:54

attracts and and when does that kind of shift become apparent to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:26:00

her When she's doing this type of work.

Kate Harlow: 00:26:01

Well, it's always an inside job. I have over 300

Kate Harlow: 00:26:05

podcast episodes that have like, you know, every every title is

Kate Harlow: 00:26:10

like something. Not every title we've done episodes outside of

Kate Harlow: 00:26:13

relationships and dating and love, but like, most of them,

Kate Harlow: 00:26:16

have been that, and every title is like, you know the truth

Kate Harlow: 00:26:20

about ghostinger, like, why he didn't call you back, or

Kate Harlow: 00:26:23

whatever. It's like some top of mind problem, and then they open

Kate Harlow: 00:26:26

the door and that to the episode, and every episode is

Kate Harlow: 00:26:28

like, it's an inside job, everything. The majority of

Kate Harlow: 00:26:31

women who I've worked with over the years have been women who

Kate Harlow: 00:26:34

checked all the boxes, who are divorced, not all, but I'd say,

Kate Harlow: 00:26:38

like, probably 90% of my clients are divorced women who have

Kate Harlow: 00:26:42

kids, who have an ex husband, who have, you know, gone through

Kate Harlow: 00:26:46

all that journey, many of them divorced to narcissists. That's

Kate Harlow: 00:26:48

been a common thread as well, but they land on my doorstep.

Kate Harlow: 00:26:52

Then it was so sweet. I actually had a call with a woman who was

Kate Harlow: 00:26:55

interested in joining the journey, and she's like, I don't

Kate Harlow: 00:26:57

know if it's right for me, though, because I haven't

Kate Harlow: 00:26:59

finished checking the boxes yet, like as if she's not a fit

Kate Harlow: 00:27:02

because she hasn't checked all the boxes. I'm like, No, you're

Kate Harlow: 00:27:05

lucky. That's a good thing, because all the women who did

Kate Harlow: 00:27:08

check the boxes, you know, just got to get a husband, just got

Kate Harlow: 00:27:11

to get a you know, got to get married, got to have kids, got

Kate Harlow: 00:27:14

to get the house, got to get the thing, got to get the thing.

Kate Harlow: 00:27:16

They wake up one day like Elizabeth Gilbert and Eat, Pray,

Kate Harlow: 00:27:19

Love, and feel like I'm dead inside. I don't want to be

Kate Harlow: 00:27:22

married anymore. I don't want this life anymore. And she had a

Kate Harlow: 00:27:25

pretty great on paper life. That is the most common story I see.

Kate Harlow: 00:27:29

And the reason I attract mostly women like that is because

Kate Harlow: 00:27:32

they're ready, because they the ones who are younger I do work

Kate Harlow: 00:27:36

with. You know, 10% of them that are younger, that haven't

Kate Harlow: 00:27:39

checked the boxes yet, and just their souls are hungry and ready

Kate Harlow: 00:27:42

earlier. But the reason a woman post divorce posts like just

Kate Harlow: 00:27:47

like you, post the perfect scripted on paper Instagram life

Kate Harlow: 00:27:52

is ready for, for this is because she she sees how empty

Kate Harlow: 00:27:56

those things are. Because it's not about those things, you

Kate Harlow: 00:28:00

know, and we've been fed messages our whole entire lives

Kate Harlow: 00:28:03

that, you know, especially as women, that if we are not in a

Kate Harlow: 00:28:06

romantic relationship, people are constantly questioning it,

Kate Harlow: 00:28:09

so that has us feel insecure and in discord. I think about myself

Kate Harlow: 00:28:13

like, I'm single, quote, unquote, right now, I don't

Kate Harlow: 00:28:15

identify with that word. I'm just me. I'm like me when I'm in

Kate Harlow: 00:28:18

a relationship, I'm me when I'm single, I'm the exact same. I

Kate Harlow: 00:28:20

don't feel different. I'm not like, Oh no, I'm single. Gotta

Kate Harlow: 00:28:24

go do something to get something like, I'm just living my life,

Kate Harlow: 00:28:28

and things come to me. So the fear that women have when they

Kate Harlow: 00:28:31

start the journey of falling in love with their own soul and

Kate Harlow: 00:28:33

their own life is that they're going to not need a relationship

Kate Harlow: 00:28:36

anymore, and therefore not have one. That's the opposite. It's

Kate Harlow: 00:28:39

like when just like your story, when we live from the truth of

Kate Harlow: 00:28:43

who we are, when we follow our hearts and souls desire, and we

Kate Harlow: 00:28:47

walk through the threshold of fear, because there's always

Kate Harlow: 00:28:49

fear. I had it before, you know, before I came to Kenya, and I'm

Kate Harlow: 00:28:52

on the other side like, oh my god, this is home. Like I could

Kate Harlow: 00:28:56

cry. I've never felt more at home than I do right now, in my

Kate Harlow: 00:29:00

little cottage in on the land I'm living in, with the friends

Kate Harlow: 00:29:03

I'm surrounded by, with the community I'm building, like

Kate Harlow: 00:29:06

it's so aligned and love, like my life is love. I am love. I'm

Kate Harlow: 00:29:14

in a loving, deep, deep, deep, reverent relationship with

Kate Harlow: 00:29:16

myself. When my stuff kicks up and my little me is there and my

Kate Harlow: 00:29:20

saboteur is loud, which, you know, the further along I've

Kate Harlow: 00:29:24

gone on the journey, the deeper I've gone into myself, the less

Kate Harlow: 00:29:26

often that happens. But when the hijacks happen, I know how to

Kate Harlow: 00:29:30

love myself through it. I know how to be with myself through

Kate Harlow: 00:29:33

the contracted feeling, and then I come back to that expanded

Kate Harlow: 00:29:36

feeling. And my life is love, all my sisterhood relationships,

Kate Harlow: 00:29:39

like I always say on the podcast and to my clients, there's not

Kate Harlow: 00:29:43

one woman in my life who doesn't have an epic life like I do, who

Kate Harlow: 00:29:46

doesn't have who isn't so expanded take responsibility for

Kate Harlow: 00:29:49

everything she's feeling. You know, inspiring, doing epic

Kate Harlow: 00:29:54

things in the world, making an impact, having great love

Kate Harlow: 00:29:57

stories, but like deep, meaningful. Real Love, where

Kate Harlow: 00:30:00

it's not just a fantasy painted onto someone, and then we just

Kate Harlow: 00:30:03

like, fit them into our script, and we're like, Oh, there's the

Kate Harlow: 00:30:06

guy, there's the kids, there's whatever, stick them in the

Kate Harlow: 00:30:08

storyline. And then you're like, wondering why you ache every

Kate Harlow: 00:30:11

night when you're laying in bed beside this person. It's not

Kate Harlow: 00:30:15

about the person, but it's about the part of you that chose the

Kate Harlow: 00:30:18

relationship. It's about the part of you that chose to get

Kate Harlow: 00:30:21

married. It's not about the thing itself. I'm not saying

Kate Harlow: 00:30:25

I'll never. I'm 44 I've never chosen to marry. Will I never? I

Kate Harlow: 00:30:28

don't know me. I'm not close to anything, but I'm I'm so

Kate Harlow: 00:30:33

grateful I learned to live from my fullest, most expansive part

Kate Harlow: 00:30:37

of me, from my soul, for my heroine, so that when I do make

Kate Harlow: 00:30:41

the choices, they're my truth in the moment. They're not some

Kate Harlow: 00:30:44

idea of what I'm supposed to be. And so when I work with women

Kate Harlow: 00:30:48

and they separate from their saboteur, she's your roommate

Kate Harlow: 00:30:51

always going to be there, you learn to love her. You learn to

Kate Harlow: 00:30:54

sit with her when she needs attention and love, but learn to

Kate Harlow: 00:30:57

put her in the backseat, not let her drive the Ferrari. She, if

Kate Harlow: 00:31:01

there's room in the back seat, I don't know if they have back

Kate Harlow: 00:31:03

seats. Never been in a Ferrari, but she, you know, when you

Kate Harlow: 00:31:07

learn to not have that Wounded Little Girl and that that her

Kate Harlow: 00:31:10

sidekick lead and you let the heroine of your story lead your

Kate Harlow: 00:31:15

life, you build a life of love. And then even when the right

Kate Harlow: 00:31:19

love, romantic love, comes along. You're not needing it.

Kate Harlow: 00:31:23

You're not siphoning. You're not it's not a vampire relationship

Kate Harlow: 00:31:27

where you're expecting them to behave in a certain way so you

Kate Harlow: 00:31:29

feel better about yourself. That's just the wound at the

Kate Harlow: 00:31:32

wheel. When you're actually in alignment with all of who you

Kate Harlow: 00:31:36

are, you call forward someone who also is. And then when your

Kate Harlow: 00:31:39

shit does come up, which it will, because relationships

Kate Harlow: 00:31:42

mirror all of our stuff. We like it's it's there for your next

Kate Harlow: 00:31:46

level of growth. You know how to tend to your own heart through

Kate Harlow: 00:31:49

it, and how to bring your vulnerability to the

Kate Harlow: 00:31:52

relationship so you can deepen together, as opposed to project

Kate Harlow: 00:31:55

your shit all over each other and then blame them and then go

Kate Harlow: 00:31:57

somewhere else or whatever other pattern.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:31:59

Totally, totally. Totally. I love that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:01

response so much. And the thing that I love about you, I mean,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:05

it's hilarious. Like, every time we catch up, you're like, Oh my

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:07

God, my new best friend, or oh my god, I love this person, or

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:09

oh my god, I met this other person. You have so many soul

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:13

mate relationships in your life, and I think women are often

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:17

looking for like, the one person that is gonna be the thing. And

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:20

I'm not discounting that at all. It is a beautiful thing to be in

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:23

a like an aligned relationship, if that's what you desire. But I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:29

love what you said that my life is love, that you become a

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:32

magnet to all of these beautiful opportunities and relationships,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:37

and the fact that everybody in your circle is somebody who is a

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:41

soulmate, somebody who is like on their journey, on their path,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:44

living their life in the same aligned way. I think that is so

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:48

powerful and so beautiful, and it brings so much more meaning

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:51

and fulfillment to our lives. Instead of like, I'm going to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:54

put all of my effort on one person, and they have to satisfy

Leah Brathwaite: 00:32:57

all parts of my life, otherwise, I'm I'm not okay. I think it

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:02

really is important for us to and I teach the same thing, to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:05

really have a solid relationship with ourselves, because then we

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:09

can consciously choose what is in alignment with us. I just did

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:14

a podcast with our friend Mark groves, and he said something

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:18

beautiful. He's like, if you're not free to leave a

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:20

relationship, you're not free to choose that relationship. So if

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:24

you need this person to complete you, then you're not free to be

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:30

in that relationship. There's like a codependency, there's

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:32

like a tether that doesn't actually let you experience

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:37

liberated and expanded love. And I think it's so important to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:42

take time to do the work, even if you are in a relationship,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:45

doing the work. I mean, some people like you said, are afraid

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:48

to do it, because they're like, I'm not going to need anybody.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:51

And if I'm in a relationship, like, what's that going to mean

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:53

for my relationship? But like you said, some of the women that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:33:58

come to you, they've come after all of these decisions that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:02

they've been making from their seven year old driving the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:05

Ferrari, and they're like, wait, I just crashed into a wall, and

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:08

I have all the things, but I don't want any of this. Yeah,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:11

but I think for myself, I realized this obviously later,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:16

not making decisions maliciously. But the more you

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:19

build your life out of alignment and out of integrity with the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:23

truth of your soul, the more there is to kind of, like, sift

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:26

through and sort through and uncreate so that you can start

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:30

rebuilding in this new aligned way. And so if you're at a point

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:34

where you're like, you said, like, wanting a person, or you

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:38

haven't, like, checked all of the boxes yet, or you're like, I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:40

don't feel like I can do this type of work, because I still

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:43

have to do this type of work, like, quote, unquote, the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:46

checklist to complete. It's often the perfect time to start

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:52

doing things, when you're in a place of transition, or when

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:55

you're in a place of like, having a big decision to make,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:34:59

if you can come. Come to a place of truth within yourself, it'll

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:02

be so much easier for you to make that decision in a way that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:06

is going to build something sustainable for the future,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:09

instead of something that's just going to need to be kind of

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:12

undone later on in life. And the final thing that I wanted to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:15

kind of touch on, on what you said, is, like the fear is, is,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:18

I want to say the fear is real. It's not real, it's not real,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:21

but it is real. It's like the story that we tell ourselves.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:24

Because I think it's Pema Chodron that says, I can't

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:28

remember if it's the book when things fall apart, or the other

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:31

book that I can't remember the name of it, but she says

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:33

something, not these exact words, but like, fear is a sign

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:37

that you are getting closer to the truth. So when you come up

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:40

to that point where you're like, oh gosh, my heart is calling me

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:43

to Africa, like, I'm gonna move to Kenya. This is kind of crazy.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:46

I already moved to Greece. I already did something scary. But

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:49

the deeper truth is, like, there's more. There's like,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:52

always more to discover about yourself. There's always more to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:55

uncover, to experience. And when you are leaving the thing that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:35:59

you're comfortable with to go to the thing that is unknown but

Leah Brathwaite: 00:36:02

that you're feeling called towards, there will always be

Leah Brathwaite: 00:36:06

fear. There will always be like a part of you that's like, what

Leah Brathwaite: 00:36:10

does it mean for me? Am I going to die? Am I going to be okay?

Leah Brathwaite: 00:36:13

Like I've never been there before, so I have no idea. So

Leah Brathwaite: 00:36:17

what would you say to somebody who is feeling that fear? I know

Leah Brathwaite: 00:36:19

both you and I, we have conversations when we're about

Leah Brathwaite: 00:36:22

to level up and we know, like our saboteur is kicking up, or

Leah Brathwaite: 00:36:27

our ego is really loud. Like, what are some of the things that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:36:30

you do to move through that, like fear barrier, that fear

Leah Brathwaite: 00:36:36

threshold, so that you can feel the freedom and the expansion

Leah Brathwaite: 00:36:41

and the truth on the other side

Kate Harlow: 00:36:42

of it. I love that. And, you know, I just, I think,

Kate Harlow: 00:36:47

celebrate that the fear is there, because it's an indicator

Kate Harlow: 00:36:50

that you're on the right path. It's your mind is constantly

Kate Harlow: 00:36:54

going to this, the controller archetype, fantasy controller,

Kate Harlow: 00:36:59

I'd say, is the biggest hybrid that has us believe that our

Kate Harlow: 00:37:01

lives are supposed to look a certain way. And it's like the

Kate Harlow: 00:37:04

per, I think of, you know, wild flowers, a white like, wild

Kate Harlow: 00:37:10

nature that I'm experiencing here in Kenya, versus, like,

Kate Harlow: 00:37:12

fucking manicured gardens, like your mind is going to want the

Kate Harlow: 00:37:15

manicured garden. Your mind is like, no, the grass needs to be

Kate Harlow: 00:37:19

cut perfectly and the bushes need to be in perfect squares,

Kate Harlow: 00:37:22

and it wants it to be, to look a certain way based on what it

Kate Harlow: 00:37:26

knows from the past, from from all the tapes, all the programs,

Kate Harlow: 00:37:29

all the movies, all the stories, all the other people's lives.

Kate Harlow: 00:37:32

You witness people who've influenced you. It that is all

Kate Harlow: 00:37:35

there. And when the fear is there, as you're moving towards

Kate Harlow: 00:37:38

something that your body feels yes to that. You feel that. Like

Kate Harlow: 00:37:41

every time I talked about Kenya, I would get turned on and my I'd

Kate Harlow: 00:37:44

feel tingly all over, and I just like, oh my god, it's such a

Kate Harlow: 00:37:48

strong feeling in my body. And your body knows your your body

Kate Harlow: 00:37:54

is your compass. It's your no your nose and your yeses are so

Kate Harlow: 00:37:58

clear in your body. And the more you slow down in your life and

Kate Harlow: 00:38:01

create space like if you don't meditate, if you don't go for

Kate Harlow: 00:38:04

walks, if you don't have time without your phone, if you don't

Kate Harlow: 00:38:08

create space from technology, create space from busyness for

Kate Harlow: 00:38:11

yourself, you won't hear clearly the messages. They'll be there,

Kate Harlow: 00:38:15

and like you talked about earlier, that is anxiety I have.

Kate Harlow: 00:38:18

I cannot tell you how many clients I've worked with who

Kate Harlow: 00:38:21

have told me, Kate, I have anxiety disorder. I'm on

Kate Harlow: 00:38:25

medication for depression, whatever. I am not a doctor. I

Kate Harlow: 00:38:28

don't tell them to go off anything. But guess what? Three

Kate Harlow: 00:38:30

months into our journey together, they all go off it,

Kate Harlow: 00:38:33

and they're like, holy shit. I was repressed. I was anxious

Kate Harlow: 00:38:37

because I was an out of my body, was an out of tune guitar

Kate Harlow: 00:38:40

because I kept saying yes when it was a no and no one it was a

Kate Harlow: 00:38:43

yes. So first thing is create space in your life, in your

Kate Harlow: 00:38:47

practices and your day to day life that allows you to feel

Kate Harlow: 00:38:51

your body, your own feelings and what, what your compass, your

Kate Harlow: 00:38:54

heart yes is, your gut knows, and then when the fear is there,

Kate Harlow: 00:39:00

thank you. Thank you for showing me like I knew, laying in bed

Kate Harlow: 00:39:04

and hearing, like the odd, it wasn't la it wasn't really loud,

Kate Harlow: 00:39:08

but like, every few nights, Regina, my saboteur, would wake

Kate Harlow: 00:39:11

me up and be like, What are you doing? Like, Kenya is dangerous,

Kate Harlow: 00:39:14

like, because of the news in Canada, I'm like, pretty sure

Kate Harlow: 00:39:16

America is more dangerous than Kenya. But like you're crazy,

Kate Harlow: 00:39:22

like your life is so good in Greece, blah, blah, blah, like,

Kate Harlow: 00:39:25

as if I could never go back to Greece again. And she would say

Kate Harlow: 00:39:28

these things, and I sit with my saboteur, because saboteur is

Kate Harlow: 00:39:32

kind of like the teenage babysitter of the child, of the

Kate Harlow: 00:39:35

wounded child. So I sit with her, and I'm like, when she gets

Kate Harlow: 00:39:38

really loud, and I just let her vent in my journal, but it's

Kate Harlow: 00:39:41

like Regina, regina's thoughts. You know, it's not me get

Kate Harlow: 00:39:45

externalizing it, that that's a game changer. So you just

Kate Harlow: 00:39:49

externalize it, regina's thoughts. You know, this is the

Kate Harlow: 00:39:52

story. Blah, blah, blah, blah, what am I feeling underneath?

Kate Harlow: 00:39:55

Fear, anxiety, nervousness, what? What's that caused by?

Kate Harlow: 00:39:58

Because I'm going into a new experience. Experience, okay.

Kate Harlow: 00:40:00

Thank you so much. You know, let myself fully feel the feeling

Kate Harlow: 00:40:04

without feeding the story. The story needs to be vented. It

Kate Harlow: 00:40:07

needs to be expressed once, but then I let it go. I don't go

Kate Harlow: 00:40:11

tell the story to other people. It's just like, it's just okay,

Kate Harlow: 00:40:15

it's there, but it is literally fear is the indicator that you

Kate Harlow: 00:40:20

you start to distinguish the difference. The more you have

Kate Harlow: 00:40:22

space and slow down and get to know the nuances of your your

Kate Harlow: 00:40:25

inner guidance system, you start to know the difference between

Kate Harlow: 00:40:29

fear and a no in your body, right? Some I get asked that a

Kate Harlow: 00:40:32

lot, how do you know the difference fear? I always feel

Kate Harlow: 00:40:36

it like outside it's like resistance. It's like, all of a

Kate Harlow: 00:40:39

sudden there's like, thick fog, and I can't walk through the fog

Kate Harlow: 00:40:41

because it's like, oh god, what's out there? I can't see

Kate Harlow: 00:40:43

it. I don't know it. Versus not getting in a car with someone

Kate Harlow: 00:40:46

because you have a gut feeling that something bad is going to

Kate Harlow: 00:40:48

happen. That's like in the body. So you start to pay attention to

Kate Harlow: 00:40:51

those differences. But when you have fearful thoughts that are

Kate Harlow: 00:40:55

creating feelings in your body, those are just stories. That's

Kate Harlow: 00:40:58

the program, the program, every system we've ever been a part of

Kate Harlow: 00:41:02

has taught us to be afraid, has taught us to not be brave, to

Kate Harlow: 00:41:06

not be courageous, to not take big steps, to not take risks, to

Kate Harlow: 00:41:10

not do things against the grain, because we're much more easily

Kate Harlow: 00:41:13

controlled when we're in fear. And we saw that with covid play

Kate Harlow: 00:41:16

out like a perfect orchestration of fear mongering, so And yet,

Kate Harlow: 00:41:21

you can live inside of this world and these systems, and you

Kate Harlow: 00:41:25

can walk differently, and you can walk towards the door that

Kate Harlow: 00:41:28

has fear. I like to think of it as like the door that has fear

Kate Harlow: 00:41:31

graffitied all over it, fearful stories. And you're like, cool,

Kate Harlow: 00:41:35

this must be something big. And you open the door, and you walk

Kate Harlow: 00:41:39

through that threshold like the moment I couldn't get on the

Kate Harlow: 00:41:42

airplane. I was in Greece, and I was 2021, I planned to go to

Kate Harlow: 00:41:46

Costa Rica for the summer or for the winter, and then I was going

Kate Harlow: 00:41:50

to go back to Vancouver, but I always wanted to live in Europe.

Kate Harlow: 00:41:53

I couldn't get on the plane going from Greece to California

Kate Harlow: 00:41:56

to visit my parents and then on to Costa Rica. And the woman's

Kate Harlow: 00:41:59

like, no, Greece is a red zone. I'm sorry. It was like 430 in

Kate Harlow: 00:42:01

the morning, and I was like, and I was like, crying. Like, what

Kate Harlow: 00:42:04

do you mean? I haven't seen my parents in like, four months,

Kate Harlow: 00:42:06

and I'm going away to Costa Rica. Like, I have to see nope,

Kate Harlow: 00:42:09

Greece is red zone. You can't go to America right now unless you

Kate Harlow: 00:42:12

have a green card or a passport, American passport. And i Tears

Kate Harlow: 00:42:16

are streaming down my face, and I was like, oh my god, something

Kate Harlow: 00:42:19

big is about to happen. Like, I'm being redirected. I just

Kate Harlow: 00:42:21

knew I had a feeling. It wasn't a fantasy, it wasn't a story.

Kate Harlow: 00:42:24

Was just a feeling, like, cool. I was like, allowing myself to

Kate Harlow: 00:42:28

feel it, but also like, cool, something's happening. I went to

Kate Harlow: 00:42:31

my friend's house to rebook my flight and jig and not go

Kate Harlow: 00:42:34

through America and go, you know, directly from Europe to

Kate Harlow: 00:42:37

Costa Rica, and my friend says, Kate, why don't you move to

Kate Harlow: 00:42:40

Greece? And I was like, what? And something lit up inside my

Kate Harlow: 00:42:43

body. Is like, move to Greece. And I'm like, it's a great idea.

Kate Harlow: 00:42:45

He's like, You love it here. How do you move here? And so I just

Kate Harlow: 00:42:48

booked a round trip ticket, because I still it was kind of

Kate Harlow: 00:42:50

cold in Greece at the time, and I wanted to go to Costa Rica

Kate Harlow: 00:42:53

still for a few months. And I was visiting Andy. I had plans

Kate Harlow: 00:42:55

there, so I booked a round trip ticket, and then I moved to

Kate Harlow: 00:42:58

Greece, not even knowing. People are like, Kate, how are you

Kate Harlow: 00:43:01

staying in Greece? Like, you don't have a European passport?

Kate Harlow: 00:43:04

And I'm like, Oh, I don't know. I'm sure, like, I've been re

Kate Harlow: 00:43:06

orchestrated, so I'm sure it'll work out. And then I get to

Kate Harlow: 00:43:09

Greece, and, like, two weeks in, find out there's this new visa

Kate Harlow: 00:43:12

called the digital nomad visa, which I was qualified for. I

Kate Harlow: 00:43:15

didn't know that before, so, like, but this is the life. I

Kate Harlow: 00:43:19

mean, every freaking facet of my my work in the world, I've been

Kate Harlow: 00:43:22

doing coaching for like, 17 years, but my specifically, my

Kate Harlow: 00:43:27

business for almost 10, and my podcast for five. And every

Kate Harlow: 00:43:31

single my coaching method, everything that has come through

Kate Harlow: 00:43:34

me. None of it was my mind. None of it was like, why should be a

Kate Harlow: 00:43:37

loving relationship. Literally, it was all divinely guided,

Kate Harlow: 00:43:41

because I surrender to that guidance and then walk through

Kate Harlow: 00:43:44

the threshold of fear, because that is the next level of

Kate Harlow: 00:43:47

yourself

Leah Brathwaite: 00:43:49

so powerful. I love that so much. It's what I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:43:54

teach. Like the first lesson in the live, free method is listen

Leah Brathwaite: 00:43:58

for the whispers. Like, how do you listen for those nudges that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:02

your soul is kind of like whispering for you, and they

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:05

start as whispers until you ignore them, ignore them and

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:08

ignore them, and then they have to come louder and louder. And

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:11

usually the loud revelations are some kind of like diabolical

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:17

situation in your life that you wish you didn't have to deal

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:20

with, that you're like, oh shit, I kind of saw that coming. Like,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:22

there's a party that's like, I knew, like, I kind of saw that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:25

coming. Yeah, it was a whisper, and then it was like a shout,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:28

and then it was like a bang on the head, and then it was, I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:30

think it's mark that calls it the cosmic dump truck, where

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:33

you're like, oh shit. Now my life is messed up, whether it's

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:35

like a betrayal in your relationship, a job loss, an

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:39

illness that was one of my early wake up calls, like my body just

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:45

revolting against me, and all of a sudden I develop a nerve

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:47

condition lose function of my hand, not knowing that it was

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:51

because I was not listening to those whispers over and over

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:55

again. So I loved what you said at the beginning of what does it

Leah Brathwaite: 00:44:59

feel like in your. Body like, how do you how do you feel like?

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:03

What is you feel like without all of the the noise and the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:06

chaos, slowing down is so important, and I know for the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:11

Type A the high achievers, those are usually the clients that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:14

come to me. They're like, I am like a high powered

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:16

professional, like, I can't slow down. I've got so much going on,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:19

but all of that stuff going on is like a mechanism to keep them

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:23

from feeling what's actually going on on the inside. So

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:28

differentiating the difference between your fear and your

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:31

intuition, or your anxiety and your intuition, between like

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:35

your your soul, your ego, your saboteur, your heroine, all of

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:38

those things, the understanding, the you that is you is is really

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:44

the key to anything, of of being able to accomplish anything, and

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:48

especially if you want to live a life that blows your mind, that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:52

allows you to have experiences that were once on your bucket

Leah Brathwaite: 00:45:55

list, that you're experiencing now at 40 instead of 75 the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:00

African safaris are all of those things like, I truly believe

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:04

that our desires are divine direction. They are there to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:07

wake us up, to let us know that not only is it possible, it is

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:11

meant for you to experience, but it requires you to surrender the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:15

mind and like the perfect, manicured plan that you think

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:18

you need to have, and allow those whispers to guide you,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:21

allow yourself to recognize like the redirection or the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:26

rejection, whatever you want to call it, is guiding you. And in

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:30

every single moment of your life there is wisdom, there is

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:34

guidance that is available for you, but you have to learn how

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:37

to listen, and then you have to learn how to follow that and

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:41

have the courage to be able to do that. Both of us have

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:44

methodologies that embolden women to be able to honor that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:48

part of themselves and truly live free and or in expanded

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:54

love. However, however we say it, it's kind of the same thing.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:56

It's like connecting to your Divine Self and letting that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:46:59

part be what moves you through the world? Oh my gosh. I feel

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:03

like we could talk for so many, like, hours or so many things

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:06

that I want to talk to you about Africa and your journey to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:09

Greece. But for me, I just wanted to say, like, it was so

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:12

beautiful to watch you on this path, like from when I met you

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:17

in Vancouver and we had, like, our first interaction. We had,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:23

like, our first friend date was like, what, eight hours or

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:25

something ridiculous, like that. We met, like, and did a workout

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:27

together that we were like, Oh my God. We just had so much in

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:30

common. And we were like, talking and talking, and it was

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:32

the most beautiful friendship, but seeing your evolution, even

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:35

from then, and knowing how much you loved Greece, and then when

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:39

all of that kind of rigmarole happened, and you're like, I'm

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:41

moving to Greece, guys. Again, it was one of those things

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:44

where, at a time in the world where everything was like topsy

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:47

turvy, a lot of people probably would have been like, you should

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:50

just come home and stay home and I'm like, like, calm down. Like,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:54

why do you need to do that? But it was such a soul dream of

Leah Brathwaite: 00:47:57

yours coming true in the most magical way that kind of looked

Leah Brathwaite: 00:48:01

like a bit of a train wreck, like, oh my god, I can't get I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:48:04

can't get to where I need to go. But it was like divine

Leah Brathwaite: 00:48:06

orchestration. And then seeing how it unfolded you moving to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:48:09

Kenya, it's beautiful to see the way that you are living your

Leah Brathwaite: 00:48:13

work and continuing to show up. And not only like, show women

Leah Brathwaite: 00:48:18

how to do this, but show yourself how to do this as well,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:48:20

because I believe so deeply that we teach best what we've most

Leah Brathwaite: 00:48:24

needed to learn you needed to learn how to stand in your

Leah Brathwaite: 00:48:28

sovereignty. So did I in our own individual ways, and now it's

Leah Brathwaite: 00:48:32

what we do in the world so and it's it's just been such a

Leah Brathwaite: 00:48:36

beautiful thing to be in this soul sister relationship with

Leah Brathwaite: 00:48:39

you and and walk similar but different paths, and it's just

Leah Brathwaite: 00:48:43

been wonderful. So I wanted to just acknowledge that, because I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:48:46

just love you so much, but

Kate Harlow: 00:48:48

and witnessing your journey too, it's crazy that

Kate Harlow: 00:48:51

it's only been five years. I know because it was 2020 it's 25

Kate Harlow: 00:48:56

we met in June. It's only been five years that you've been in

Kate Harlow: 00:48:59

my life in five year, and yet you are a totally different

Kate Harlow: 00:49:02

woman, and I'm a totally different woman, and we've

Kate Harlow: 00:49:05

walked through so many initiations, and as you're

Kate Harlow: 00:49:09

talking, I was thinking like your saboteur will always want

Kate Harlow: 00:49:12

to know the future, and that is the very thing that robs you of

Kate Harlow: 00:49:16

the life that will make you feel alive, is knowing what the

Kate Harlow: 00:49:18

future what's coming. You cannot know what's coming, and we're

Kate Harlow: 00:49:22

not supposed to know. And it's in the sitting with the right

Kate Harlow: 00:49:26

now, like, oh, is Greece your forever place? I'm like, What is

Kate Harlow: 00:49:29

is Kenya for forever? I'm I made a joke that'll be here forever,

Kate Harlow: 00:49:32

but that's how I feel in this moment. It's like, let's see if

Kate Harlow: 00:49:36

you can hold your hands open to life and receive like, what

Kate Harlow: 00:49:39

lights you up right now knowing your saboteur is gonna kick in

Kate Harlow: 00:49:42

immediately after. I think of the time I got invited to be in

Kate Harlow: 00:49:44

a musical Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was such a Yes,

Kate Harlow: 00:49:48

and I was so excited. This is like, 15 years ago, and it was

Kate Harlow: 00:49:50

like, Oh my God. And then, literally, two seconds later,

Kate Harlow: 00:49:53

no, no, you're too busy. You're too this, you're too that.

Kate Harlow: 00:49:55

There's no way you travel. And I almost said no, because my

Kate Harlow: 00:49:58

saboteur tried to shut it down immediately. She thinks it's

Kate Harlow: 00:50:00

dangerous to be expanded, right? That's what she was hired for

Kate Harlow: 00:50:03

originally. So just knowing that that's going to happen, but the

Kate Harlow: 00:50:07

more you can just like, say yes to the things and make those

Kate Harlow: 00:50:11

brave decisions, like even you packing up your car and driving

Kate Harlow: 00:50:14

to America, like, there's just been so many poignant moments

Kate Harlow: 00:50:17

where we've said yes to something, not knowing what's

Kate Harlow: 00:50:21

coming, but just like, holding your palms open and being like,

Kate Harlow: 00:50:23

okay, yes, to this right now, let's see what it has in store

Kate Harlow: 00:50:27

for me, rather than like, Okay, I'm gonna move to Kenya, and

Kate Harlow: 00:50:30

then I better meet a guy, and then I better did. And then, or

Kate Harlow: 00:50:33

like, I'm I'm getting into this, I'm moving to California for

Kate Harlow: 00:50:36

this guy, and it better go this way, like all the fear based

Kate Harlow: 00:50:39

stuff that's trying to push us into some sort of false sense of

Kate Harlow: 00:50:42

security in the future, when your real sense of security

Kate Harlow: 00:50:45

comes from you being present in the moment and trusting the

Kate Harlow: 00:50:48

unfolding of your life.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:50:50

Amen, sister, amen. And I mean, that's the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:50:55

reason why, like, the final lesson in the methodology and

Leah Brathwaite: 00:50:59

the live, free method, is embrace the unknown, learning

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:01

how to do that, learning how to be okay with not knowing.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:05

Because not only is it our saboteur that's been hired to do

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:09

that job, it's our nervous system that is like we have to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:12

combine the two aspects of our soul, which is, like expansive,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:16

always going to be pushing the edge of more and what's

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:19

possible. It's infinite. So of course, it's always going to be

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:22

moving towards the next thing. But our human is finite. It's

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:28

very limited, and it's got this nervous system that's coded for

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:31

survival. So it's our biology as well that we need to learn how

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:35

to regulate understand the cues of our nervous system, which is

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:39

why it's such a big part of the work that I do, too, and I know

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:41

you do a lot of somatic stuff as well, but getting your body on

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:44

board and understanding that feelings are not final, they're

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:49

information, and that if you can learn to distinguish the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:53

language of your soul, which is what your feelings are, then

Leah Brathwaite: 00:51:57

you're able to use that information to move through the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:02

unknown, to move through all these things, and of course,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:04

there's steps. It's not just like I understand my patterns. I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:07

know that I hold myself back now I should be living free, like

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:10

there's, there's an effort that's required to undo those

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:16

patterns, to reprogram the subconscious parts of yourself

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:19

that have really been running the show this entire time. But

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:23

when you do like you said, it's it's expanded. You get to live

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:26

this life of beautiful surprises, of magic. It doesn't

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:32

mean that it's always butterflies and rainbows. It

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:35

doesn't mean that it's always easy. It's always simple. It's

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:39

literally like, follow your soul. It knows the way I say

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:41

that all the time. It's simple and it's almost irritating,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:44

because when you're in the dark and you're like, in a transition

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:48

period, it's like, okay, well, what the hell do I do now?

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:51

Because I feel really uncomfortable in this. So I know

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:54

you actually have something. We were talking a little bit about

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:57

this before we started recording. I know you have

Leah Brathwaite: 00:52:59

something that's coming up to help women through that, but

Leah Brathwaite: 00:53:02

before we well, I guess we can get into that now. But what I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:53:05

would love to know from you now is, what are you most excited

Leah Brathwaite: 00:53:10

about, or what are you working on that you're excited about?

Leah Brathwaite: 00:53:12

What do you have to offer that you're excited about? What's

Leah Brathwaite: 00:53:16

something that your soul is feeling really alive and

Leah Brathwaite: 00:53:18

fulfilled with right now I'm most

Kate Harlow: 00:53:20

excited about my life right now, my new life

Kate Harlow: 00:53:24

here, and all the like. It's crazy that the people that Kenya

Kate Harlow: 00:53:28

and that Nairobi Africa, I think, and also Nairobi attracts

Kate Harlow: 00:53:32

like every person I've met is So expanding, expanded and creative

Kate Harlow: 00:53:36

and up to really big things. I'm currently writing a book called

Kate Harlow: 00:53:39

The unscripted woman. So excited about that, but it's still in

Kate Harlow: 00:53:42

progress. And books take time, but I'm just starting to get

Kate Harlow: 00:53:45

back into it. I wrote, worked on lots of it in the last year, and

Kate Harlow: 00:53:48

kind of have taken a long break. So very excited about that. And

Kate Harlow: 00:53:54

I have a, I have a course coming up called starting over, and,

Kate Harlow: 00:53:59

you know, relevant to anyone. It's, I mean, originally it was

Kate Harlow: 00:54:02

for women going through breakup, divorce. Like big change, big

Kate Harlow: 00:54:05

endings, moving, like what you know me right now, like big

Kate Harlow: 00:54:10

change in your life, and really allowing yourself to begin

Kate Harlow: 00:54:14

again, and allowing yourself to take this time and instead of

Kate Harlow: 00:54:18

use it, use whatever transition you're going through to wallow

Kate Harlow: 00:54:21

or to to re to stay stuck in the victim's story or the fantasy of

Kate Harlow: 00:54:26

how your life should be different. It's all it's a three

Kate Harlow: 00:54:30

day course all about helping you really take this time to reclaim

Kate Harlow: 00:54:37

yourself and your life and your sovereignty and and to rewrite

Kate Harlow: 00:54:41

your story and become the heroine of your own journey. So

Kate Harlow: 00:54:44

that's November 7 through ninth. It's just mornings each day,

Kate Harlow: 00:54:48

eight till 1030 Pacific. So three mornings, and I'll share a

Kate Harlow: 00:54:54

link below. It's $88 and so that's new, a new course coming

Kate Harlow: 00:54:59

up, but I'm excited. Excited about everything. Like, I have,

Kate Harlow: 00:55:01

like, so many like, show ideas, like, just wanting to take this

Kate Harlow: 00:55:05

work I've done for 10 years that has transformed hundreds of

Kate Harlow: 00:55:08

women's lives, and like, take, well, no, hundreds of 1000s, if

Kate Harlow: 00:55:11

we count the podcast, but like, take it out to the world in a

Kate Harlow: 00:55:14

bigger way and impact young girls and so, yeah, I'm just,

Kate Harlow: 00:55:17

like, in this creative vortex right now, but in terms of what

Kate Harlow: 00:55:21

you can do with me starting over and of course, the new truth

Kate Harlow: 00:55:24

podcast is always a great place. There's a million episodes. You

Kate Harlow: 00:55:26

can go back and listen, and it's a great place to hear this

Kate Harlow: 00:55:30

message over and over again in new ways. I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:55:34

love it so much. Okay, you already kind of

Leah Brathwaite: 00:55:36

answered that, that last part of the question that I was going to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:55:39

ask, which is, where can people find you for more? Kate Harlow,

Kate Harlow: 00:55:43

the unscripted woman.com is my website. Kate

Kate Harlow: 00:55:46

Harlow, the unscripted woman on Instagram, that's my brand, the

Kate Harlow: 00:55:49

unscripted woman and my book and Facebook. Kate Harlow, I don't

Kate Harlow: 00:55:53

know if people still hang out on Facebook. I think that's it.

Kate Harlow: 00:55:57

Yes. Of course, the new truth podcast is on everything except

Kate Harlow: 00:56:00

YouTube, but YouTube's coming very soon,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:56:03

amazing. And I have a couple of episodes, I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:56:05

think a couple of episodes, yeah, you know for

Kate Harlow: 00:56:07

sure, at least two times, maybe three. Yeah,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:56:12

we will have to go back in the archive. Yeah,

Leah Brathwaite: 00:56:14

it's an incredible podcast. So definitely check it out. Kate. I

Leah Brathwaite: 00:56:18

love you so much. I have loved this conversation, I know that

Leah Brathwaite: 00:56:22

we could definitely go way longer, but we're gonna have to

Leah Brathwaite: 00:56:25

wrap it up, because I've got to go to the DMV. But thank you so

Leah Brathwaite: 00:56:28

much for being on this show. Thank you for being you, the

Leah Brathwaite: 00:56:33

work that you do in the world, and I'm just so grateful to have

Leah Brathwaite: 00:56:36

been able to have this chat with you today. So thanks me

Kate Harlow: 00:56:39

too. Thank you for having me my love, and I'm

Kate Harlow: 00:56:42

freaking proud of you celebrating. You for saying yes,

Kate Harlow: 00:56:44

when it was the time, and yeah, this is amazing, and it suits

Kate Harlow: 00:56:47

you so much. So I'm so happy you're sharing your gifts with

Kate Harlow: 00:56:50

the world in a bigger way.

Leah Brathwaite: 00:56:51

Thank you love. Thank you love and to everybody

Leah Brathwaite: 00:56:54

watching or listening. Thank you so much for joining us on

Leah Brathwaite: 00:56:58

another episode of The Live, free Lifestyle podcast. If you

Leah Brathwaite: 00:57:01

enjoyed this episode, or if you know somebody that would

Leah Brathwaite: 00:57:04

resonate with this episode, please share the love. Let us

Leah Brathwaite: 00:57:08

know your biggest takeaways in the comments below. Subscribe

Leah Brathwaite: 00:57:11

and I will see you in the next episode. Bye.